This year is going to be a radical shift in lifestyle for us. I’m going to have to turn down a lot of socializing opportunities. It has been years since I’ve done this. I perceive Noah to be doubtful but I’m not sure if that is paranoia or more than that.

I have made a schedule. I’m putting it in my day planner. As of December 28th (the day next year’s day planner starts) I get to go on auto pilot. My days are planned out till summer. Then the kids and I will reevaluate what classes they are in and discuss changes. Our semester is set.

I have faith in my ability to stick to a schedule. I’ve accomplished a lot of things this way. College, teaching, marathon training. I create schedules for myself and then I put my head down and plow through. Just follow the plan.

I can do that.

Yoga, resting, and meditation have to become part of every day. Or I’m just going to incinerate myself with sheer nervous energy.

I have to get off the sedatives.

I mean, the only thing I’m still on is pot. But I’d like so very much to not need any medication. I can’t do the around the world trip if I have to be drugged to function. I won’t have that ability as I travel internationally.

I have to just be able to do it.

Shit.

A year is a very long time to power through. Well, at least given the current status of spoons in my drawer.

I have a lot I want to get done over the next three years: remodel the bathroom, pay off the house, write books, homeschool the kids, heal…

It will be a good thing to stay home more. We have a lot to do at home. One of the things I’ve always found funniest about ‘home’ schooling was how little time we spent at home. I need to change that. I want to stay home more. Well, not more than this last month. I want to stay home this much. It’s a big change from before the trip. Frankly, it is lovely.

So much I want to type. Have to stop.