Do you know what is hella weird? Asking for permission to write about people you hope to fuck. Then writing about them. Then going around and checking in, “Ok, did I step on any toes?”

It is… hilarious and totally worth the feelings of awkwardness. Know why? I have better sex partially because the people who want to fuck me are willing to do a lot of homework. I communicate a lot of things in writing I have trouble getting around to saying. Also: when I’m talking to myself I’ll admit things I won’t say right to a person. Because I’m kind of a passive aggressive douche. Yeah, I know.

Professor, you reacted with surprise when I said I’d been considering this for a while. I actually thought about it before your last relationship ended. Things seemed really rocky for you so I decided it really wasn’t worth bringing up with Noah.

There. I said it.

I don’t know what makes the damn break when it does. All I know is that when it does there is so much pent up it is a deluge.