I want to type so bad it is driving me insane. But I would say shit I shouldn’t say. And my fingers and arms hurt really intensely.
I’m not very good at thinking inside my head. This is not my thing. This sucks.
I want to write it because that’s how I stop thinking in circles. That’s how I reach conclusions. Right now I’m circling like whoa.
What is belonging?
on Livejournal there is an option to make entries private so only you can see them
I write myself emails, and email them to myself. For the worst stuff that circles in my head preventing sleep. Stuff that I feel guilt or shame over that I don’t want to confess to Anyone. I don’t lie to myself, but some shit from my past needn’t be discussed. I need to NOT discuss it, though I do have friends with whom I can share Anything, but maybe back when I did that more often, …I didn’t. I didn’t want it on the web, I didn’t want it on paper, I didn’t want to discuss it with my husband, it was late at night. I’d write it all out in an email and then send it to myself.
If the larger issue is the sore arms… Does icing help? My hand therapist used dixie cups to freeze water in the freezer, then she’d peel off the lip down below the ice-line and the part you hold in your hand would be paper protected. Running the ice over my forearms for 5 minutes or so is Cold, but helps the pain so much. I’m sleeping in wrist braces now. :p I wonder, perhaps icing ones forearms while in a hot bath might be nice? I know you’re always cold…