Twelve days ago I waited for this surgery with barely a nudge of anxiety. Today I’m anxious as fuck. Noah isn’t going under general anesthesia this time. They are giving him a spinal instead. It means we will have to sit in recovery longer. I’m sorry to the lovely friend who will end up hanging out with our kids longer.
I’ve been feeling really… blocked when it comes to writing/talking lately. I’m not blaming anyone else. I go through periods where I feel like I just can’t write about what I’m feeling. I don’t know how to ensure I’m properly understood. I don’t want to give more cannon fodder to the opposite of what I’m thinking/feeling.
I feel like I don’t know what I feel enough to say what I feel. And I’m kinda frustrated with things going poorly because I can’t express myself right.
Better to deal with the problems that come with saying nothing at all.
For those keeping score at home: I wound up with the easier surgery with quicker recovery (3 weeks, not 4.) The anaesthesia worked great this time and I recovered from it quite quickly. I may hurt tomorrow, but today hasn’t been bad at all. I’m kind of tired… But it’s not nearly as bad as the day I got the general anaesthesia but *not* the surgery.
So, how did it go?
Oh, I see now. Ok, good!