I’m really tired of being in bed for 10 hours and sleeping 3.5 hours. This shit sucks.

Tomorrow I hit 9 weeks. I’m down almost 8 lbs. Of course. I swear to cheese I’m eating everything I can hold down. I feel so sick.

I went to the group “welcome to our maternity system” class yesterday for my medical provider. It was strangely like an episode of “Call the Midwife” without the great accents. It was fine, it was fun. I participated in appropriate, non-rude ways. The lady giving the presentation really wanted questions. No one was asking any. So I got things rolling. I brought up sleep. GUESS WHAT SHE TOLD ME TO DO?! Exercise more.

I did not lead from there into “But what if you have HPA axis dysfunction and exercising too much is probably part of the reason you can’t sleep to save your life?”

See, I was appropriate for the group. I wasn’t self involved. I didn’t lead it into a tangent that doesn’t apply to other people.

I can kinda conform for brief times if I work hard at it.

I wish I could throw up and feel better. But pregnancy doesn’t work that way.

I need to water the garden. I am going to be babysitting for 5ish hours today whether I feel good or not. I need to go to the grocery store again. (I was foolish and I didn’t plan for feeding the friends who are coming over tomorrow. Folks for lunch and folks for dinner and boy howdy do all of them eat differently than we do.)

I think I have scheduled too much again. I feel so dead.

But I hate cancelling with anyone. I waaaaaaaaaaaaaaant to see everyone. Whine.

On Wednesday the 19th I have to drive to Modesto and I’m all kinds of unhappy about it. It’s 86 mother fucking miles away. I’m going to feel so shitty. That’s for a fucking group class where they explain what is necessary for working with the charter school. All information that is on the website but they have to tell us in person. UGHEHGHWGHWGHEWHGRE

Luckily I’ll never have to go there again.

I’m tired of feeling like a slug. I want to feel like I want to get up off the floor. Right now… I’m literally lying on the floor.

Ok. I watered. Damnit. And I made lunch and I did scheduling with Noah and I did food preparation planning.

Productive. See.

Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired.

K- I worry that Aptos isn’t going to stay smallish for long. I remember it quite fondly.

Ok. I need to get awaaaaaay from my keyboard.

Hey, I’ve been doing much better lately. No social media, no forums. I’m not even chatting that much. Yay Skype.

I’m so grateful y’all talk to me. You don’t even know. This pregnancy is easier. I feel so much less lonely for so many reasons. Thank you for spending all this time to get to know me. Thank you for thinking I’m fun to talk to and showing up for dates year after year.

I like talking to you so much.