I feel completely paralyzed. There is no end of shit I need to do. And I’m sitting in one place staring at the screen because I cannot emotionally, mentally, nor physically handle getting up to do any of it.

I feel so completely incompetent and like a failure.

This is where I want a god damn mommy to come over and help me. This is my sad face.

I have spent so many years showing up at peoples houses and cleaning for/with them when they break down.

Yeah.

I want to move away from this valley. I want to move somewhere where there is no one I know within a three hour drive so that I never have the feeling that I wish someone would come help me. Being alone would be so refreshing. There would be no possibility of hope for help. I’m just alone.

I want that.