Hey. Folks read here. I see the IP logs. (WHO IN THE HECK IS CONSTANTLY COMING FROM BOND HARDWARE?!?!?!?!!?)
If you think of me as someone who has done anything badass, what do you think of?
I’m trying to stop feeling like I’m a failure. I do shit. Right now I’m having trouble thinking of anything bad ass I’ve done though. I feel like I barely limp through things and that doesn’t count.
Do you have any pertinent memories so you can jog mine?
All my thoughts are kid/parenting-related.
You gave birth to your kids. [details of labor that you know better than I]
You are raising smart, strong, curious, opinionated children who know that they deserve to be protected and treated well.
You went on a road trip as a solo parent with 2 kids for multiple MONTHS.
You accept MC’s gender identity and support them, including backing them up and defending their rights to both strangers and family/friends.
You can LOOK at your kids and know [or quickly find out] who’s not telling the truth.
Also the running thing. That’s only partly kid-related.
Thank you so much. I can’t wait to see how you parent when you get the chance. It’s going to be awesome.
The road trip is the first thing that leaps to mind.
Hosting big ol’ parties with lots of tasty food.
Getting the kids therapy — that is hard on several levels.
Homeschooling.
Thank you. You are a pretty darn spiffy host as well.
Therapy is so hard.
Many years ago when you complained about the body size of most demo models in the classes hosted by the community, I challenged you to be part of offering a class that used models with larger body sizes. You did. Most people just complain. Few rarely work for change. You did.
The examples of conversations you have with your children to explain/empower just blow me away. Suffice it to say my mother didn’t have the vocabulary or the awareness to have those conversations. I was too fearful, selfish, single to ever have children, but even if i had, I don’t think I could ever have been as articulate as you are. I am constantly floored at the posts where you think yourself as bad, not enough, a failure, etc. because I an in awe of your willingness to (a) have children and (b) be the mom I never could have been.
And then there is the epic national road trip. You dream. You do. Most do not. <<–That is a very short set of words that is meant to convey a level of amazement that doesn't really fit in words.
–bailey
Thank you. It’s kind of funny because I think of you as being so much more adult than I have ever been.
You stood up to all the terrible things your father had heaped on you and are doing everything in your power to change the patterns of your family for your children. Pretty fucking badass.
Thank you. It’s hard making up a new normal.
I’ve actually been working my way through to having monologue for you about the revolutionary act of taking up space. You take up space like it’s your fucking birthright and if someone doesn’t like it they can fuck right off.
I… wish I didn’t have mixed feelings of shame when you say that. Oh shit. I take up space? I mean… I do… but gosh that’s mixed.
Thank you.
I’m told that it’s a badass thing to move alone to another country where you don’t speak the primary language? But I don’t see myself that way (obviously if I can do a thing, it’s not hard, pssh). I just decided to do a thing and then worked through the plan until finally there was a thing. I wonder if you might have a similar perspective thing going on.
Haven’t I said almost the same thing to you? lol
Imma admit that I full on snorted at the idea that you aren’t a Badass. An incomplete list of things you’ve done that leave me thinking you’re a Badass:
– Writing the books. The first especially. That was a shitty hard journey and you completed it.
-building your family from the ground up.
-the road trip.
-marathon and half and etc.
-divorcing your family.
-changing path and having this baby.
-occupy.
-the many many many many things you have planned, cleaned, organized, supported, explained, taught, etc. To/for me and many others.
-that bathroom Holy shit.
-your art. I remember how you talked about it asst the beginning and love how that’s changed.
-the friendship we’ve managed to continue having- I think we’re both badasses for stepping up and doing the incredibly hard things that’s sometimes required.
I love you.
You don’t just TALK about changing yourself. You actually DO something to make those changes happen.
You see things around you that you think are wrong or that you think need help – and you DO something to provide help.
You actually CARE about people and things that are outside of yourself. You aren’t just ME ME and MINE. You look for ways to show that you care to others. You give time, money, and other resources to those that you think will benefit from them.
You are a strong person who knows their own mind and enforces their own boundaries. You aren’t afraid to speak your truth. You aren’t afraid to tell people to back off. You are willing to fight for yourself.
Thank you. Hopefully I will be able to fight for myself in a useful way.
I came into this late so everyone’s listed the examples I would use.
But mostly you’re a badass cause you just are.
One of the first things I remember about you is standing your ground. I don’t remember what it was about, but standing toe-to-toe with some dude at the Palo Alto munch (the Dolce Vita one). My take away was you were right, and despite dude trying to make you wrong you just owned it.
Later that evening you made a statement that was incorrect, realized it and apologized – again owning it.
That, my friend is badass
That ability to apologize is one of the things I like about myself the most. Thank you so much.
I totally agree with what Loren said- my first impression of you was of you holding your ground and realizing i wanted to be more like you.
As I have gotten to know you, I value your perspective on things even more. You make me more aware of the kind of person I want to be.
Thank you. You teach me a lot about who I want to be as well.