Today we will finish getting the garage cleaned up. It’s going to be used to host our wonderful friend until I’m done having the baby so I would like it to be as tidy and hospitable as possible. On the plus side: this means we will be doing the last bits of clean up for the post-remodel mess and our house is 100% reset and done from the chaos.
Huzzah!
It also means that I can stop panicking about the fact that Noah would like to do the next set of pictures in the house. It’s not a complete disgusting mess anymore.
Today while I boss my children through cleaning tasks I am going to prepare the last bits of hard-paper documents for the friend who is going to be with the kids during labor.
I don’t know if I’m right but I feel very much like this baby is going to come a week early. I don’t think this is a 40 week baking job. But I could be wrong! Who knows! But Noah says I feel almost completely effaced. The contractions and pain I’m having in my groin are inconsistent but feel really productive.
Even my damn belly button is popping and that’s not a pregnancy symptom I’ve ever had before. The baby dropped dropped. The baby is well engaged. I feel really ready.
Ma is going to be good labor support. Noah and I have been talking a lot about what I want to have go different this time. Last night, at blacksheeps suggestion, we did hypnosis around letting go of fear.
This is going to be different. Do you know how cool it is that pretty much everyone I talk to is hard core #TeamMedication. Everyone keeps telling me that I should not try to set time goals for suffering. If I’m uncomfortable, fuck it. Medicate. Don’t suffer this time. Get through the process and take advantage of every conceivable help available in a hospital.
That feels so lovely.
What I want from this birth is feeling less like I’m doing everything wrong and taking too long. I’m so fucking over having people be irritated with me going through the process I need. A friend offered time limited labor support and I wisely, with great respect for my self-care, said no.
I don’t need to feel time pressure during labor ever again. I don’t need to feel like I need to hurry or I don’t deserve support.
Ma says she’ll come for as long as it takes, no big deal. That’s what I need right now.
I’m feeling very grateful for how things are coming together.
I feel like the baby is going to come this week. I feel like everything is coming together and it is going to be ok. Labor babysitting support will be in my house in about 33 hours and anytime after that I’m golden. If labor started before then I have a 48 hour backup person and a ton of neighbors who are ready to step up if needed.
This will be different.