An evil kind of magic.

I don’t know what it is… but this child likes to empty the pipes in big volleys. We hear a big poop (she’s so loud) and we wait 1-5 minutes before getting up to go to the bathroom because there is always more. Sometimes we stand at the changing table and get her undressed in slow motion because more is coming.

We wait for the second big volley. It arrives. Ok. We’ll try changing you.

We get the diaper off.

I swear to cheese at least once a day she pees on our hands as we are putting the new diaper up to her. It always lands on the new diaper. Ok, so there’s two diapers and a full change of the changing table so far.

We get her cleaned up (a task) then get a fresh diaper on her then set her on the floor. Proceed to change the cover and everything on the changing table. Get everything ready to go again. Poor Noah usually has this festivity rain down on him (ewwww) while he is changing the baby. I get it too though…

Pick her up and put her back on the changing table and start the process of getting dressed again. Finish. Pick up the baby.

She poops again.

This. Is. Daily. (or almost daily. It’s freakin constant feeling.)

I do not remember my first children being prolific in this manner but it is hilarious as it frustrates me.

Every. Single. Day we have a diaper change that involves a minimum of three diapers. Sometimes she gets to a fourth diaper in a half an hour period without me leaving the bathroom.

Given that when she was born we had some concerns about kidney function I will choose to just be grateful that all the plumbing works so well.

Oh, and every single time she gets put on the changing table she instantly spits up and soaks the entire front of her clothes and creates a puddle around her head.

Cheers.

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