Yesterday the baby clearly smiled at me. That was a “Yay mommy!” face. She calms down when Noah hands her to me and she knows milk is coming. I don’t remember my big kids calming down like this. She really only complains when something specific is wrong like hunger or she needs a diaper change.

I am so happy to get to know her. I wonder if she is going to be as assertive as my big kids. Right now she is so chill that I can barely wrap my head around her. I know I should just be happy and grateful, but I’m baffled wondering how I ended up with a child who is just… relaxed so far. Life is ok. Not much to demand or push for. Everything is just ok.

She is often happy snuggling/sleeping on a big kid for an extended period while I do chores. She is imprinting on all of her people. I don’t feel like the first two wanted to imprint on other people much. Yes, sometimes Noah has to suffer through some fussing and crying to give me a break when she wishes I wouldn’t. But it’s not screaming it’s fussing.

My chores are mostly dishes and laundry at this point. I am getting some help with both (thank you Noah) but I still do the majority of folding the laundry and loading the dishwasher.

Let’s be real here. My big kids are old enough that they are doing the majority of covering for my recovering butt. Speaking of which, hemorrhoids still very present. They can go away now. They make it take forever to wipe up when I poop because I have to use these little medicated pads and gently clean each hemorrhoid. There is no dignity in parenting.

I spent a while looking at how to schedule the stuff we need to do next year. My kids are going to resent it. Oh well! Y’all want to learn stuff. It takes time. You aren’t itty bitty kids any more. Y’all are big and it’s time to move into serious academics. Which… is still only going to be three hours a day. Shush your whining. But PE is going to be a noticeable chunk of our day. Creating windows of time for longer/more intense daily hygiene is more important as we head towards puberty because they are becoming greeeeeeeasy little critters. My kids have gotten weekly baths most of their lives and they haven’t been dirty/gross. Now that puberty is rearing its head… that is not even a little bit sufficient. And ew.

I tell my children that hygiene should be increased in times of increased need. If you are visibly dirty or greasy… it’s time to take more frequent showers. If your face is breaking out like whoa because it is majorly greasy… wash your face more frequently. You don’t have to take a full shower every day. But you are probably at the point of needing to wash your hair twice a week, sometimes three times a week. Wash your face in the sink in between showers. Hi, welcome to puberty.

But I’ve never understood the “take a shower every day” thing. It’s bad for my hair and skin unless I am getting actively dirty every day. I don’t. I don’t produce enough grease for that to be necessary so it seems kind of weird.

I usually bathe 2-3 times a week. That’s a good frequency for me to not smell and I don’t look dirty. I have absolutely known people (usually for job reasons) who need to shower daily and occasionally twice in a day. But it’s not the norm.

I have had a few moms tell me that I’m gross for not bathing my children every day. Oh. Well I make sure they don’t have food on their face or in their hair and I wash their hands all the damn time. Their knees and back don’t get dirty enough to wash every day! Come on now. In the summer I do make them wash their feet in between showers because ew don’t climb in clean sheets with nasty feet.

Why can’t hygiene be applied solely at need?

People are interesting.

As I try to figure out how to get all of the stuff done in a day that the kids and I need to get done… I feel flattened. I can’t imagine trying to add in more. The kids are down to 10 hours a week of unplanned time. Playing used to be their job and it isn’t any more. Growing up sucks. 11 hours a week of academics (it’s shocking how much progress they make in this amount of time.) (And let me tell you, as a former public school teacher… most students don’t get a full 11 hours a week of 1:2 instruction.) 12 hours a week set aside for PE activities because it includes the walk to the farmers market (that we really need to get back to doing weekly) and time set aside for stretching and classes and allll the physical stuff we need to do for health and preparing for a week of constant walking. The kids do a shocking (to me) amount of cross training. It is funny to me that I have ended up being an active person.

I have some good role models.

There are slots for outside time (10 hours) and chores (7 hours). I am mentally going through my list of “where can the kids hurry up and finish what they ‘should’ be doing to squeeze in extra reading time” so I can encourage them towards efficiency so they can get what they want out of the deal too. Given how much exercising we are going to be doing, they are free to bring books out to sit in a chair during outside time. Just get sun on your face. A lot of it will be energetic though. Only 5 hours set aside for screen time. There are other spots where they could add more given how much they are exercising. I am not as anti-screen time when they are really energetic.

Fridays and Saturdays are almost unscheduled though. We have the morning/evening routines and food and that’s it. I think that is wise for us.

I don’t have slots for running errands. Well. That’ll fail right there.

Ok. Rethink this.

Ok. Two hours of the kids playing on Friday they can either come with me to do errands or they can stay home with their dad.

Of course this isn’t Noah’s schedule. Frankly that man is walking on water because he gets a lot done. I’m looking forward to being more physically competent again so I can take some stuff off of his plate. I’m trying to find time for him to rest. He got a couple of hours off last night. I try to let him sleep a night through sometimes.

We are trying to be kind to each other.

This baby is… easy to be around and it means it feels easier to be generous.

I have six more days until I get evaluated by my OB. Then I’m cleared to be a lot more active. Slow walks and only a few chores are getting old. I think this baby will be happy to be in a carrier as I do more to make my body stronger again.

When I leave the bay area I will leave my awesome medical providers. I will need to figure out how to make my body strong enough to withstand less support. And I will need to figure out how to manage my mood with more pain. It’s just going to happen.

Every choice has a constellation of consequences.

And that right there is a poopy diaper. Called to duty.