This phase is hard. I’m worn down and exhausted. It will improve over time but I need to be patient. I need sleep. I could use about 8 hours straight of no one touching me or talking to me. I am not going to get it any month soon here.

Hey! Two month visit at the doctor! Youngest Child is 23″ and 11 lbs 10 oz. She is looking like she will level off and not be as tall as the two older children; they will both be pleased. She’s still on the tall side (70%-ish) but not as much as her siblings.

Most of that weight is in the bowling ball skull that makes my arms hurt.

I love her so much. She is more quiet and serious. She is squawking and moaning and chirruping and fussing more now. I’m thrilled to have vocalizations other than screaming. I encourage them as much as I can.

She can be occasionally patient with the car but it doesn’t work every day/every car trip.

I got rid of another thrift run. I am getting to the point where some of the stuff I need to pass on is bigger and slightly more awkward. Time to post some pictures on Craigslist. In the next week or so I can probably get rid of two dressers and three book shelves because I’ve already packed and culled a layer. Sifting stuff down into smaller piles.

At some point we probably will need it to be true that all the clothes for all the people in our family fit in the long low dresser. That will be about how much volume we can handle carrying in suitcases so I might shift the clothes again in a few months. Not yet though. No need to disrupt the kids in the next month or three. I can move stuff around them.

When we have summer vacation this year there is going to be a flood of art projects because we have so many cool materials we need to use up. I’m looking forward to this experience. I haven’t gotten to try all the mediums yet.

It’s kind of funny how slowly sifting through my clothes makes me think really hard about what I wear and why. What am I willing to move? What kind of first impression do I want to give?

That’s been a huge thought lately. Our clothing is going to give an impression about us. Our level of grooming (or not) will say a lot about us. I am not good at managing these kinds of impressions. I remember many conversations where my friends have told me that either I can dress up and manage peoples expectations by meeting them or I can have people punish me for not meeting the basic expectations. My choice. I can’t get out of being judged.

When the kids and I were on the road trip across the US I fairly deliberately picked stuff that wasn’t nice but wasn’t covered in holes. That’s my concession to vanity. But the US is a schlub dressing sort of country unless you go to LA, SF, NY, Dallas, or Boston. Other places expect more and that’s going to be hard. Noah has enjoyed his programmer uniform of crappy tshirt and pants that he wears for two weeks without washing.

I am not looking forward to trying to get my children to take better care of their hair. Ugh. Both of the big kids got haircuts yesterday. Eldest Child’s hair is not as short as I hoped it would be. Given how she resists the basics of hygiene I now understand my mom encouraging me to keep my hair under 2″ long. Middle Child had their hair cleaned up and neatened and it looks much better without the weird flakey layers. They like ponytails and braids. Neither of which do well with layers.

I’m trying to think about a bunch of things at once. Packing. Home schooling is getting more fun. We are starting religion since the school is silly and told me that we have done enough. Fine. Since we finished 4th grade a month early… we will just move on. How we will get across the country.

Stuff like, given the miles involved and price of gas… it would cost around $10k to drive to the East Coast. Because it’s over 3,000 miles and over $3/gallon. Ok, there are places that are cheaper than that but not everywhere. A train ride for our family of five will cost around $2600 and the kids can get up and walk around and play. And it will take us about 4 days instead of a month with breaks for Noah to work.

Heck, Noah can work on the train.

And it’s $2600 if I get the fancy berths that convert to beds! It’s way cheaper for chairs! Not to mention that the fancy bed-berths also pay for your meals when you are on board. Meals for four people for three and some days, so call it 10 meals. 10 meals, 3 nights of sleeping (I think), and transportation across the country. That makes it seem like a less crummy price. When I could drive and pay way more than that. Flying would be faster but the train would be really neat. It would let us see some of the middle of the country we missed last time. It would be a fun way to transitioning to not using cars any more.

I keep thinking things like what will we do about diapers? Kind people keep sending us infant toys. The baby now has a fully Ikea cube of infant toys. Of course she can’t grasp anything yet and all she cares about is boobie. But hey, once she can grasp she has plenty to yank on.

I need to send a letter to Noah’s family and tell them about our plans. They are still sending huge boxes of stuff that I will need to store for a few years before it’s useful. Sigh. If only I had a more pragmatic attitude about just selling the stuff they send.

I figured out iCloud. I don’t love the idea of the Apple cult getting all my stuff. I want my stuff to not need physical storage so that I am not lugging around back up devices. I’m going to put all the stuff I currently have on external hard drives on the cloud and then I can figure out what to do with old terabyte storage units. Wheeee.

It’s fascinating thinking about how I want to pack our family. What about kitchen stuff? Is there anything for cooking that we really should bring with us because doing without is crappy? Towels and linens? And oh goodness those diapers.I love my cloth diapers. You don’t understand.

Ok, time to stop typing.