A few friends have moved away from California and come back for various reasons. When I say that *I* might fail and slink back with my tail between my legs I ain’t talking about y’all. None of you spent months writing pissy things about why it sucks here and you want to leave. None of you made a big production out of flouncing off.
I kind of am. Sort of. A little. Enough that if my grand journey flops entirely… it would make sense for folks to kind of make fun of me for it.
Coming back for access to jobs or health care isn’t the same thing.
Maybe I will come back because I simply cannot do without the health care I can get here. That wouldn’t really be failing and slinking back with my tail between my legs. If I just can’t find friends and I spend all my time crying about how lonely and sad I am… that’ll be failing.
It’s kind of like how it is hard to say that I LOVE FAT BABIES without it sounding like I’m dissing the less chubby inclined.
Sigh. All babies are good. All baby levels of chunk are good.
BUT I LOVE THE FUCK OUT OF MY FAT BABIES, OK.
I don’t get to enjoy tiny delicate squishes very long so nothing is perfect.
I am being paged in the direction of a party. Bye. stupid space bar is sucking
oh gosh I didn’t think you were talking about me with that comment, I just meant that sometimes I feel like I did slink back etc. I struggle with wondering what I could have done different, what might have been wiser choices and what was up to random chance or was just unknowable. Hindsight and all.
I’m glad that you didn’t think I was talking about you. :-\
I also didn’t think you were vaguebooking about me. However, I spent months thinking pissy things about why it sucks here. I just don’t have a blog. Blessing or curse, I’m not sure; I could have looked back at it and remembered more. (Mostly, I thought I could just come back and it’d be fine, but life is more complicated.)
You could solve this by writing me more emails and then you would have those to look back on. And, bonus, I would know more about what you are thinking. 🙂