We had a conversation at breakfast about the ice cream. I was clear that I don’t know what to do. I asked kids what they think. Noah had thoughts.

It was nice to talk through things like, “I could over react and say that we can’t buy ice cream anymore or we can only buy vanilla but I feel like neither would solve this problem.”

Eventually we came up with the idea that since we usually buy multiple containers at once we just aren’t allowed to have more than one kind that I won’t eat at a time. Since the kids will freely admit that they eat ice cream that they don’t like very much before the stuff they bought for themselves that I won’t eat at all.

I like a few kinds. Vanilla, cherry vanilla, butter brickle, chocolate chip, cookies and cream, butter pecan…

I just don’t like everything. And it’s annoying that we will go for a month or two with many kinds of ice cream in the freezer I won’t eat. So Noah buys me a container and it’s gone a week later because the kids gorged on the one for me and then go back to slowly picking at their containers.

I don’t know how to have this boundary in a loving way. I’m not even sure I know what it means.

I don’t feel even remotely ok with needing to have all my stuff be separate and labeled with my name. That just feels awful.

I know this is petty as fuck. It’s about the ice cream but it’s not about the ice cream. It’s about consideration and sharing and perceiving other people as worthy of notice.