We are making forward progress in about a dozen areas. School continues at a great clip (Personally I’m loving the botany stuff we are doing for science) and by mid-way through this academic year both of my children will be at grade level or above in all subjects. Given that EC started her academic career three years late and had to make up… I’m glad that she’s fully caught up in the third year she is doing academics. So she did a little over two full years of academics for each of her first three years of “school”.

I’m not worried about her abilities in the future.

MC (because of the charter school) didn’t get as behind to start with. We decided to let him start in second instead of third grade because of my pregnancy. He’s probably still a month, maybe two months behind in reading but he is almost caught up and he’s doing great in every other area.

If they continue this rate of progress they will finish elementary school work early. That’d be convenient for me.

We have made a few steps towards the legal stuff we need to take care of. I should call our lawyer tomorrow to schedule updating the will. Always more to do.

We’ve made significant progress towards all of us being vaccinated for the travel that’s coming up. I feel like a walking plague carrier. Cause I kind of am today. Typhoid, Cholera, Hepatitis A, Rabies…. I’m fully loaded baby. We also got a booster update on MMR.

I said when delaying vaccinations for my first child that if our lives were different I would vaccinate differently. Now my third child is absolutely on schedule or getting shots early. BECAUSE WHEN I SAY I WILL MAKE DIFFERENT DECISIONS UNDER DIFFERENT CIRCUMSTANCES I AIN’T JUST MAKING SHIT UP.

We continue to get rid of stuff at a dramatic rate.

I need to go get packing tape so I can pack more boxes. I ran out. I have the boxes… but not the tape. We should walk to the dollar store in the morning. We like that walk.

I have been stupid lately and I’ve eaten too much wheat. I had diarrhea. After many many months of the most perfect poop that has ever come out of my butt. I stopped with the stupid wheat and my poop went back to being beautiful displays of properly processed food. I don’t have celiac disease… but wheat fucks me up.

I am getting closer to a travel solution I like for electronic devices.

I’m almost completely to where I need to be on packing stuff like medications and random other “just for travel” accessories. Of course our clothes and other shit aren’t packed and won’t be for a while.

I’m in the middle of four books and I’m having trouble putting the internet down to finish them. Come on Krissy.

I haven’t made more progress on country research this week. I’m feeling overwhelmed.

My children continue to be people with imperfect behavior. Trying to figure out how to encourage them towards the people they want to be as grown ups is hard. It would be so much easier to just say, “Hey… you’re an asshole. Fine. I’ll be mean to you until you decide to stop being an asshole.” But that doesn’t work. WHY NOT?! IT WOULD MAKE MY LIFE EASIER, DAMNIT. Parenting is really hard. We continue to try ways of helping each other be more loving. Some work and some fail.

I’ve been having this weird feeling lately. I can complain about pretty much everyone and everything. It’s a talent. But that doesn’t mean I think that people are bad or doing everything wrong or that I’m better than them.

If I can point out a problem I see in your marriage or in your child’s behavior… in no way shape or form does that mean that I think my marriage or child is better. We suck. I see my fuck ups as clearly or more clearly than I see yours. I ain’t better than anybody. I’m not a better parent.

Ok, I do believe…. that I am more willing to get outside support for my family than most people. But that’s not a “better than” thing exactly.

Just because I think your kid needs something they aren’t getting that doesn’t mean you are a bad parent. You are a parent who hasn’t yet handled a particular issue.

Do you know how many fucking issues I haven’t solved yet? It’s not issues it’s subscriptions.

I know you are trying. When I point out something I see it isn’t to bludgeon you with what a failure you are because you haven’t already fixed this thing. If you had already fixed everything you would be perfect and boring and who would want to know you? Damn we’d all feel inferior and resent the fuck out of you.

Instead you are beautifully, wonderfully imperfect. You inspire me to be better because you are better than me and worse than me and you keep going and trying. I love you.

I wouldn’t be who I am without you. I’m so glad you are here.

Even if I do think you really ought to help your kid deal with ________ issue.

Shit dude. We are all works in progress. We are perfect works in progress.

Slack continues to make me feel giddy like a school girl. I feel like I have NRE with my friends. Also a stranger on the forums invited me to her private group (where she could discuss the sensitive nature of the scary stuff happening in her life) and I swear to god I almost cried getting that stupid invitation. A stranger saying, “Girl! Of course you need to get in here! I need to hear your point of view!” makes me feel like my crazy codependent fucked up need to talk to strangers isn’t all bad.

Sometimes, I even help. I’m not a superhero or a rescuer or anything stupid like that. I am not saving anyone. I’m just some girl who is telling you that you are important and loved.

Sometimes… that’s enough.