I was quite schmoopy at bedtime. I have such big feelings about the people under this roof. None of us are perfect and that’s ok. We all screw up. We all do things wrong.

We all want to forgive and move on.

Where are the lines? What are the things that should not be forgiven? I know some bright red lines that if they are crossed I need to set the relationship on fire… but I don’t know if there are other lines I should care about.

I tell my children that if they refuse to learn how to treat people with love and respect they can expect to grow up and be alone and friendless because neither other people nor me will put up with being treated like crap. It’s different to make mistakes when you are a kid and you are learning. If you keep this shit up into adulthood… you won’t like the consequences. Life is hard. Consequences hurt.

I’ve been reading the books Positive Parenting and the authors keep stressing, “What is the goal of this discipline?” It’s a great question. Is your point to punish someone for daring to be an asshole? Is your point to help your kid understand that this behavior will not serve their interests?

This is Don’t Shoot the Dog stuff. What is the goal of your interaction?

It’s also important to keep in mind that many very effective extinguishment tools traumatize the shit out of little kids. Could we extinguish a behavior? YES! Will there be horrible long-term consequences? Absolutely.

I was so much bigger of a problem. I have a hard time seeing my kids as being “stuck” in their current behaviors.

I didn’t get over some of their bad habits until I was in my 20’s. I’m not ready to declare that they can’t grow up.

Are my kids perfect? hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa

Phew, let me wipe up the tears from that laughter.

Uhhhhh no. My kids aren’t perfect. My kids are challenging and difficult and quirky and snotty and rude. And absolutely perfect for me in every way. I love them. I adore them. I want them. Even when they suck. It doesn’t slow down my adulation for them to suck. I’m very open minded about people.

Spending time together is the best. These people make me want to keep trying. No matter how much life hurts. I get to see these beautiful shining faces.

I can put up with discomfort for that.