That was a nasty fall! Good grief. I have seen my chiropractor and my massage therapist. I’m doing better but I still don’t feel good.
My thoughts are swirling round in a blender.
When I talk about things I’m upset about the least offending people think I’m talking about them and get upset. So instead of processing being upset about person A I am comforting person B.
I understand why POC have no time for white nonsense.
Looks like there will be a break in the rain today. I should get some yard work done. If the kids get their academics done (it is looking like a maybe) we can go to the park this afternoon. I’m seeing the contractor today because hopefully work starts on Monday.
The kids aren’t behind but they are struggling to learn pacing and I’m not being as nice about this process as I should be. I need to give an apology during breakfast. They are going to fuck up. If they were in school they would have to fuck up in order to find out all the bits and pieces. I take this shit so personally and it really isn’t about me. *sigh*
We are so very close to an empty house. I will probably do another cull today because the kitchen drawers are going to have to be emptied out. There are only two drawers of stuff plus the refrigerator plus a container that sits on the counter left in the kitchen. All the cabinets are empty.
I placed an order this morning. I think I’m done Christmas shopping. If I’m good I will take boxes to the post office this morning and then I won’t have to feel so guilty about my niblings. I’m getting presents for my children, my niblings, and my spouse. No one else this year. I just can’t.
I keep thinking about things like cooking and sewing. I’m not sure why.
I keep having these whispers of stories run through my head.
I keep thinking I need to get a graduate degree in psych stuff so that I can manage my imposter syndrome better. I don’t think I’ll learn that much more than I know. I think I’ll have a piece of paper to point at.
So tired. I slept pretty well. I’m healing. In an 8 hour stretch I think Her Sweetness only woke up once.
She’s close to night weaning. Muahahahaha
Today’s tasks:
- yard work
- take boxes to the post office
- box up the porn and take another run to the storage unit (want to dig out Lego’s) (So this is like three tasks in one)
- finish getting the last bits out of bedrooms and the kitchen
- more tidying in the garage
- take pictures of the furniture to put on Craigslist
- create CL ads
- maybe schedule another date with the neighbor who wants to babysit Her Sweetness before we move
- finish PT exercises
- meeting with contractor
- laundry
- oh yeah, help my kids with school
- write a postcard or three
- figure out what I am making for dinner while Noah has the night off
- make it to the park? we reallllllllllllly should
- snuggle my baby and let her know that she is the most important creature in the history of ever
- help Her Sweetness learn how to stand
gosh that’s enough.