Hello depression. We had a couple of really uplifting visits with our friends. Now things are going sideways and I feel absolutely awful.

“Why don’t you come to dinner with us?” “Oh never mind we can’t afford to feed you.” Ok, we can pay for the food… so we can hang out together…  “Great! You buy all the food. Then I’ll wait days and days and days to talk to you again because it is not convenient to invite you over.” “Oh by the way, do you want to come shopping with me? Just you; you need a break.” Uhm… who will take care of my children while Noah is working then? *crickets* “No, I cannot come hang out with you and just leave my children. Caring for them is literally my job.

“I want to take the kids to the water park, it’ll be a treat for us.” Ok, I think I could meet you over there… I found a bus… “You know that you have to stay the whole time, right? I can’t take care of all of your children.” So… that wasn’t ‘you want to take the kids to the water park’ that was you want *me* to take the kids of the water park so you can come hang out with us. Oh.

“I want to spend special time with the kids. One at a time. Only for an hour. I don’t like turning my car around on the highway so I want you to bring them to me.” You live 1.5 miles away. What would I do with the other 2 children during your visits? Stand around outside?

I feel really bad about myself.

And the old babysitter didn’t call for days after she said she would and when she did she said, “I’m sick. Maybe I’ll see you next week.”

Oh.

Of course.