I get really stuck on the negative. So here’s some of the positive stuff I’m noticing about my kids:

Middle Child has been working on himself in a variety of ways. Even though I can still find frustration with his volume and stomping, he has gone from screaming all the time to talking loudly. That’s absolutely amazing. He’s doing great in context of how far he has come over the past few years. I told him that I am no longer upset about him hitting a 9 out of 10 in terms of volume I’m trying to get him to go from a 6 to a 4. That’s a big accomplishment already.

He has been very good about managing the size of his body in relationship to other kids lately. We went to the park yesterday and he was super careful of all the tiny little children running around. He took turns and looked carefully before going down slides or throwing things. I could visibly see him putting effort into caring about the people around him. He has also been much more gentle with both of his sisters since we got to Japan. I can see him pulling himself back and refraining from roughness. I am really proud of him. He was really rough in Hawaii and he’s put a lot of effort into chilling out over the past two weeks.

He has been pressuring me about sugar far less. He is eating fruits and vegetables and plain yogurt without complaint. (He’s is having some itching issues. Plain yogurt is the best way to encourage your body to stop itching that I know.) He has been noticing how good he feels emotionally when he exercises and he has been asking to go on long walks. That’s a big deal!

He is also doing way better with academics since we got here. Having the expectation of doing some sort of reading or writing or talking about academic subjects for an hour a day instead of trying for 3-4 hours a day of doing specific assigned work has really helped him. He feels more successful so he is more willing to try. I think that a lot of his abject refusal to try for a while was because he felt like he was going to fall short, so why bother starting?

He’s even doing better with hygiene stuff. There is still room for improvement… but he’s doing a lot better with fewer reminders.

Eldest Child has been really doing super well on hygiene stuff. She has a lot more body stuff to take care of these days since puberty is inching into her life. Her dandruff has been intense since we got to the cold/dry weather. We found her some shampoo and she’s using it religiously. She has also had a massive acne breakout and she is doing multiple steps of skin care a day. She is still keeping her ear piercings very clean and I feel really glad to see her taking so much responsibility for her body. She’s doing great on teeth care and everything. This has been a real struggle for us in her lifetime and I feel like she has grown up a lot over the last couple of months in this department. She has a lot more to do and she feels a lot more motivated to do it for herself. It’s neat to see.

Her art work continues to really impress me. She has made progress with some of her digital drawing stuff as well as her continual progress on paper. She still prefers pencils to other mediums and that’s cool. Her flowers are really neat. She gets texture and shading stuff that I am not good at reproducing. I love watching her talent grow.

She has been taking responsibility for reaching out to her friends and good golly Miss Molly I am so excited to see that. She is emailing some folks. She is reaching out to try to set up Skype dates (these have only sorta worked so far, she’s figuring out how to schedule with kids) and she is trying to write letters. I am really impressed to see her try to grow like this. She is becoming much more adult.

She is pushing back on some of my behavior that is a problem for her. That’s a big forking deal. I am really proud of her for saying that I am hurting her and I need to stop. I want her to have these kinds of skills and abilities for life. I mean, yes of course it would be best if I never hurt her… but let’s be realistic. People are going to fuck up and hurt her. I am glad she is learning how to say “That isn’t ok and it needs to stop.” Important life skill training.

I continue to be shocked by how drawn to fruits and vegetables she is. She is also really grooving on the rice here. She has never been all that into meat but she is trying to eat more nuts and tofu to make up for it. She also asked us to get some miso, tofu, and seaweed. We are going to break out the burner later today and try to cook for her in her apartment. She’s excited to get to learn more about cooking in a new environment.

Her writing has come so far. I am absolutely stunned by how legible and well spelled her writing is these days. She has put a lot of effort into improving and I think that’s amazing. I don’t harp on her and I don’t force her to do spelling practice. She learned more about spelling because the kids in the chat rooms made fun of her. heh.

Both of the big kids are doing super well on regulating their sleep. That’s great.

Her Sweetness has hit another growth spurt. The 18 month clothing that fit well in Hawaii is starting to be high waters and super tight. I am going to be donating a whole bunch of it here and not replacing it till we get to Scotland. I am trying to see how I can bring this high chair with us because it is so dang handy and replacing it would be annoying. I think it will fit into our biggest suitcase if I get rid of a bunch of other stuff. Ok, I can do that. It weighs less than 7 lbs. The other things that MUST go in that bag is the giant pad of art paper and the laundry basket. So that bag may end up being less than 30 lbs because the stuff in it is so bulky. That would be kind of amusing.

Baby girl is signing more and she is trying to speak more. She is standing on her own a lot but she still isn’t quite ready to walk. I’m starting to think she won’t hit that milestone in Japan even though I kind of thought she might when we arrived. That’s dandy. She has clearly gained some weight and carrying her around is a struggle. She’s a good eater. Whoof.

Noah is being so kind. I think that the lack of cooking time/effort is feeling a little bit break like for him. We both spend some time food prepping and we spend a lot more time on set up and clean up but it’s still less time than he spent on food planning and prep in California. Way less cooking time than in Hawaii when he was trying to dance around using the minimally adequate kitchen. Here we are just buying prepared foods and raw fruit/veg and calling it a day.

Noah has a big presentation in less than a week and he hasn’t snapped at us once. Even though we are in his face 24 hours a day and he has to work with enormous distraction. He is plowing through his work and doing his best to be pleasant even though we can be quite frustrating. I continue to be overwhelmed by how much effort this man thinks we are worth. I could not have earned what he gives me and my children. He does it because he wants to. I am so glad I get to have him as a partner.

We have managed to have sex here and it was really nice. Sex has changed so much for us over the past 15 years. I feel grateful that he keeps trying to grow and change and figure out how to be good for me.

I am very blessed.

And golly that email from Pam this morning was like a ray of sunshine. Thank you for taking time out of your day to tell me what I do right. It is really hard for me to feel like those things happen. I am grateful that you tell me that you see it.