I need to figure out how to have self dates stop feeling like punishment. That’s a consistent issue for me even though I literally require time to defrag my brain. I want all of my recharging to come from time with friends and that has not worked out and it is only going to get harder over the next couple of years.

I need to have a more consistent parenting plan in place. Currently I give until I crack then I get mean. That isn’t what anyone needs or wants.

I want to have better strategies for handling the fact that people routinely over promise and under deliver. This feels related to how I used to get apoplectic level angry about tardiness. I mellowed on that one. Can I learn to not take the casual “I will do x” that will never happen in a more calm way? I know it is related to my mom and that is part of why it is so triggering. (FUCK MAGIC MOUNTAIN.)

I want to stop liking myself only as much as my friends have expressed recently.

I want to have better ways of handling friends who don’t listen to my soft no’s without over the top screaming.

I want to stop pouring myself into friends who use me.

I want to stop trauma bonding all the damn time.