I keep looking to other people and it’s not going well. I want to have fun with other people. I want to feel seen. I want to feel important.

I only have control over myself. I only get to control my behavior and to a limited degree my own emotions. How do I stop feeling so tossed and turned by other peoples experiences? Part of it is narrowing my scope and part of it is unavoidable. Like, when my kids have a meltdown I’m going to have to deal with my plans not working out. That’s life. But I need to have things that I control in my day that are for myself that other people can’t take away from me. I need to stop having everything that is emotionally important to me require other people because I literally can’t get other people to show up in the ways I need.

Someone on the internet told me to start enjoying my life or give away my money and go live in a hut and shut up.

She has a point.