I am not shaking off this surgery very quickly. It happened almost 48 hours ago and I have barely been out of bed since. I guess the upside of that is that the body battery on my watch says I am up to 84%. It said 93% when I woke up. Then I got up, ate breakfast, and took a shower. If I burned that much fucking energy with breakfast and a shower no wonder I feel like warmed up dog food.

Every time I breathe it hurts. The wound is in the center of my back. Every lung movement hurts. Any time I grip anything with my hands it hurts. If I lift my arms it hurts. If I hold my body upright under my own power it hurts.

I am feeling really fucking old.

I am also writing this from bed, where I intend to stay. I took pain killers the day of surgery and yesterday. I haven’t had any today and I don’t know if I will need them. Yesterday it was a solid 6 for me. Today it feels down to a 5 but it is still distressing and interfering and unpleasant.

I’m reading fluffy books because I can’t bear to try to seriously think. I watched some Netflix, but that’s less good for some reason.

Youngest Child is coping surprisingly well with me being in my room behind a gate. Her siblings and her dad are showering her with attention and play so she’s doing well.

I wonder how many days until I feel good enough to be up and about.