I should put this here and not facebook for long-term tracking reasons.

I’m a little over 3 weeks into the trial of lisdexamphetamine now.

I would say the main thing that is helping is that I am less willing to attempt multi-tasking to the point of frustration meaning I am blowing up less. I feel less anxious about all the things I “should” be doing at any given point. I have a long to-do list but I always have a long to-do list because I have a chronic need to believe that working is how I earn my right to breathe.
I think I can say with confidence that this is the best-for-me psychiatric medication I have ever tried. I can see how this would have helped me when I was younger and I have really intense feelings around the fact that no one was ever willing to look for a reason other than “trauma” to explain my behaviors as a child.

How different would my life have been if I had been diagnosed with ADHD and ASD as a child? The signs were there but I never stayed in a school long enough for them to see patterns. They just knew I acted inappropriately and assumed it was all because of the family issues.
Can’t change the past. I can can only move forward. I suspect this is going to be a medication I am on for as long as cannabis isn’t legal here. It is the closest to what cannabis gives me of anything I have ever experienced. I love being able to do one thing at a time without my brain constantly jumping between 6 different tracks. This is pretty rad.

I am going to sleep later than I was before starting this trial but I am getting the same number of hours of sleep so I think that’s not so bad?

Also: I have lost 10 lbs in 3 weeks after this weight not budging for the entire time I have been in Scotland. I am eating as much as I feel like I want to eat. (Interestingly I crave snacks more at night when I take amitriptyline earlier than usual…) I think the weight loss is because there are fewer cortisol spikes with the lower anxiety level. Ok… also probably because I am drinking less alcohol because I can’t “feel” it with this medication so it seems kind of silly to have it.