I’ve had glimmers of this bubble bursting before but it was a false positive. Now that it has been shattered I’d like to say that the nearly 3.5 years I had in this country without feeling like I did not want to be in a room with a specific person were great. I loved moving completely without fear through my life because I had no worries about who I’d encounter.

Now it’s official. I don’t like someone. I don’t like the way they assume control over other people without properly negotiating. I don’t like the way they informed me that we would not work together I would be working under them because they were the one who was in control.

Oh, oh no. I am not playing that game with you. You do not get to assume that I will submit to your whims. Go fuck yourself with a spork.

I am very unhappy about feeling like I am about to throw up. I don’t want to go hang out with this group anymore because of one person. I feel like I would cheerfully sacrifice my entire social life to get away from this feeling. Fuck anxiety.