Hours of crying, that is. It’s a bad night. I feel like it would be very wise for me to avoid talking to anyone indefinitely because I’m taking everything anyone says, no matter how neutral or positive they mean it, as more sign that I am a disgusting piece of shit who should die. Everything is my fault and I can’t fix anything.
And yet you’re someone I want in my life.
People who don’t try, who never analyse anything, who just repeat abusive patterns and feel virtuous about it, those are the people I despise.