I uhhh insisted on help packing this weekend. My family did great. Noah and I took a load to the storage unit. I think we have one more small van load of stuff going into storage and then… we have suitcases and stuff we are giving away. !!!!!!!

Except for the refrigerator (which is going to be a nuisance) like 80% of the kitchen stuff is in the garage where it will stay as the kitchen is ripped apart and remodeled. I can’t sell it in the current condition and get top dollar.

I used 40-60mg of pot per day to keep me from screaming. Very effective. Not enough to make me feel good… but enough that I can clamp my jaw on the screaming. I have to take what I can get.

Eldest Child is now only 62 pages behind on math. But more is being assigned this week. And going to Texas is going to be disruptive and hard. I am becoming afraid she is going to miss out on going into Disneyland. She can stay in the hotel room and work with Noah. Bummer.

Don’t. Lie. To. Me.

I’ve spent the entire weekend working with a tens unit on. My body hurts so badly.

Noah tried to be nice to me and tell me that I could finish the packing *hand wave* later. I almost snarled at him. I already have work booked for all that later time. Work that is going to make me tired and cranky and stressed. (I have to get the fucking yards together.) Saying I can do today’s work while I do tomorrow’s work will not make tomorrow better for me.

I am very certain that the only reason I successfully finish as many of my projects as I do is because I do not kick the can down the road to be a problem for later. If I want something done, do it ASAP. Even if that makes today hurt very badly. Future Me will appreciate the gift even if Current Me thinks I’m a bitch.

And every dollar I spend on paying someone else to do a shitty job of not really following my directions is money I can’t spend on medical care.

Only so much money in the pot.

When I pay people for help 80%+ of the time I end up having to do most of the work myself but then I’m short on money and time. It sucks.

I didn’t blog about Mexico. I should have. I feel like a complete fucking asshole for going to Club Med. But it was nice.

And good golly I need to write about appearance stuff again. This trip was…. a revelation.

I have arrived at being able to pass as upper middle class! Like, I can do it! Guess what?! It didn’t end the verbal abuse based on my looks! It just got passed around the room to other people.

That was super awesome to learn in a completely shitty way.

I cannot do anything to get people to stop verbally abusing me for existing and having a face and appearing female. I exist and people will be nasty to me. That’s just going to stay true.

Well that’s freeing.

I am so tired. Every day but Wednesday involves driving out of town for appointments. Then we go to the airport on Friday to travel. This is why I didn’t wait on the packing until this week. If I were trying to get that done while in and out of the house for appointments…..

Well. Uhm. I made it through the weekend without screaming. I would not be able to do that work *and* drive *and* not scream. I have limits.

This stage is drawing to a close. This frantic work cycle is followed by fewer house/yard chores for years.

All I will have on my plate is parenting, home schooling, travel, and feeding us.

That sounds like a dreamy small load compared to what I am used to.