Have I ever mentioned that sometimes Noah drives me crazy? He and I come from such completely different worlds that sometimes it seems like there is no way to handle our respective baggage in tandem. Sometimes the arguing gets fierce and kind of nasty. Sometimes the fighting can stretch out over a couple of weeks. We keep fighting because we know we have to find a way to deal with the problem because this is forever and that means not only tolerating one another but getting to a place we are both happy with. This kind of blows in the middle of it. We both have coping mechanisms for these situations that aren’t very helpful. Eventually we find a way to really talk about what is going on beneath the situation. I try so hard to be honest with him and I’m impressed by how honest he is with me.

Last night I didn’t sleep because the couch is fucking uncomfortable and I was upset and crying. Tonight I can’t sleep because I can’t find a comfortable position. Tonight I know that when I finish my ice cream (hey–I still haven’t gained a pound it’s ok for me to have lots of fat/sugar/calories in the middle of the night) I can go back into my room and curl up around the best boy in the whole world. A day can make such a world of difference. A day can provide the opportunity to actually hear one another.

Hey Crystal–I took your advice. Thank you for beating it into my stubborn head. Love you.