I got more words

This has been sitting here for days. I don’t think I did a great job of finishing it, but it’s better than just never finishing.

curls: My hair turned curly in puberty. Before that it was stick straight. I don’t think I have ever recovered from the trauma. On one hand my hair can be very pretty and that is nice. On the other hand it’s a lot more work to make it look nice than I am generally willing to put in. I am really really really not willing to put in the work to make it straight–God that’s annoying. I like that my hair is coarse enough to tie it in a knot and leave it there with nothing to hold it.

Fisher: R.J. Fisher Middle School, I presume. Other than graduate school Fisher was the only school I ever went to for two full consecutive years. I loved Fisher. I was happier during middle school than pretty much any other point in my childhood, which is odd I understand. I had friends for the first time. I had teachers who were both intelligent and willing to work with me. The guidance counselor and vice principle both got to know me (I was a big one for acting out, but I had good reasons) and they both worked very hard at giving me a place to feel safe and secure. I think one of the best things they ever did for me was put me in the Conflict Managers program. I was made to feel intelligent, trustworthy, and competent. I met Grant there. He was my best friend. Amusingly in retrospect, he was my first D/s relationship–I was on top. 🙂 We used to go to the movie theater and I would ask him to buy me Red Vines and I would beat the crap out of him through the whole movie. He always bought them. 🙂 I discovered Anne Rice and then goth culture at Fisher. I had sex for the first time while going there and I didn’t have sex again the rest of the time I was there because I realized it was too early. That was the worst sex ever. I had a history teacher there, Mr. Potter, who single-handedly gave me confidence in myself in the classroom. We got into an argument about whether or not Bloody Mary was also Queen of Scotland. I told him that there were two Marys–Mary Tudor and Mary Stewart. I don’t know how he screwed this up but he couldn’t remember that fact. I brought in an Encyclopedia during lunch and proved him wrong. He congratulated me and told me that if I always stuck to my guns when I knew I was right I would go far in life. I really loved him.

boundaries: I’m not really as good at them as I advertise but I try. I feel intense pressure to be better at boundaries. Ugh. I seem to have different boundaries than just about any one else and I’m not entirely sure how that happened.

family: I have some weird feelings about family. On one hand I desperately want to have family, chosen or biological–either will do. In practice I find that even chosen family is pretty inconsistent and not really dependable. I guess it’s a good thing that Noah is overall reliable because most of the time he’s what I’ve got. I’m hoping that I prove to be better family than that to Shanna.

munches: I used to go a lot. I haven’t gone consistently in five years at this point. They are dandy for talking with the same people you see all the time anyway. They are a shitty place for meeting new people or for doing good reconnecting with people you haven’t seen in a long time. I think that they are rather designed to be something to fill in the gap during the week for people who are out every weekend with the same people. There is nothing wrong with that, it’s just not where I am anymore.

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