We were talking about hierarchy and how it works in different settings. Noah and I told the kids that they are always going to have a hard time truly understanding it because they have grown up with the expectation that they can challenge/argue with authority in almost every circumstance. Then we talked about how we have prepped them in advance for the few times and places where we absolutely will not tolerate backtalk and there is the high risk that if they try to challenge authority in those settings they might get slapped as a way of shutting them up. Specifically this was in relationship to traveling through countries that are not tolerant of queer/trans/uppity pagans and this is not ever going to be a normal part of our life because we don’t do that.

Then Noah went off to work and the kids and I kept talking. I mentioned that in a lot of families the parents present a united front whether they agree or not–they keep all arguments and disagreements out of the view of the children. Eldest Child observed that our family totally doesn’t work that way because we believe that arguing is how to solve problems and find a compromise everyone can live with. I told her that the fact that she believes in her core that everyone in a relationship has to compromise and that arguing is not only ok but mandatory is exactly why Noah and I say that she doesn’t understand hierarchy. I can’t remember what Middle Child said after that but it was funny. Dangit I should have written this a couple of days ago.

I relayed the interaction to Noah later and he laughed and said that our kids are going to need to find Jewish folks to date. I said “Dude we moved to Northern Scotland.” He said, “I guess we are going to need to ship them to Israel for college.” I giggled till I just about burst something.

When I asked no one else could remember the funny thing MC said either. Dangit.