As we do this ‘parenting’ thing longer I spend a lot of time thinking about balancing each of our individual needs as well as Noah’s job. It’s really hard to find a balance. It’s feeling extra hard right now because we have hit separation anxiety like a brick wall. I’m aware that it is possible to walk away and let her scream with someone else but that feels so awful. She’s not going to be in this phase for all that long, why should I make it harder on both of us? I’m feeling kind of fried though. Leaving her with Noah is a less awesome option than it could be because they don’t spend that much time together and his presence doesn’t seem to be that much better than anyone else.
Shanna is getting way pushier about night nursing right now too. In a weird way it’s like we hit a major regression with separation anxiety. She’s extra clingy all the time and sleeping more (and requiring boob attachment through all naps). I don’t think I am feeling the kind of ‘touched out’ that I hear other people talk about but I am starting to want more time to myself than I’m getting right now. Unfortunately Noah is being pushed super hard at work so he has less energy at home.
I know I can get through this. It’s not even *that* bad. I just… something. I want something to be different and I’m not even sure what.
On Sunday, she was ok with me holding her/calming her when you’d be away for a moment. She obviously *prefers* you and wanted you when she could see you. She’s Mommy’s girl, and she’s supposed to be.
However, given that experience, I doubt she’d scream the whole time if she were with me. She might be mad at first when you went away (so you’d feel guilty), then I imagine she’d calm down, gurgle, chatter, and play. I also imagine that it would be similar with other caretakers who aren’t afraid of babies.
Shall we try a small experiment on Thursday? Want to walk around the block without Shanna and I’ll give you an unbiased report when you return?
The difficulty has been in leaving her in the daycare at the gym. She screams hysterically the whole time.
Hm. Although now that I think of it, she screams when there are other kids there. When it has been just the attendant she did ok.
And she has done fine with my family. So you can try keeping her on Thursday but I think that would mostly have merit if you are volunteering to babysit her. 🙂
the important/hard part is differentiating between pissed off and scared. It’s ok for her to be pissed off…she’ll get over it, and learn from
it. It’s the scared that we don’t want to force her into. And with her daddy in particular, I can’t emphasize enough how important it is that she learn that he can be a safe and comforting being, just different from Mama. This is as much HIS responsibility to MAKE himself that being as it is yours and hers to experiment with. It’s not easy to be faced with a pissed off baby (or pissed off anyone for that matter) and we all (I’m speaking of myself a lot on this point) need to learn to self soothe and make ourselves able to help that baby soothe too.
As for balance…it’s gotta be there. No balance, things fall down.
growth spurt? If kidlets growth spurts are anything like teenage ones, they make you all achy
this is what I thought as well.