I have woken up in a bad mood for several days in a row and that is highly abnormal. Usually I wake up all sunny and happy. That’s why I consider myself a morning person. Even if I go to sleep in a bad mood I usually wake up happier. I’ve been going to sleep feeling fine and waking up kind of angry and fussy.

WTF?

I talked to my mom yesterday. I asked for clarification about something she said to me when I called to tell her about Francesca. I felt hurt by what she said then but I wasn’t sure she meant it the way I took it. So I asked. Novel. She clarified and I can see both why I took it the way I did and what she meant and how what she meant wasn’t so bad. It was good. This whole “asking for clarification” thing seems to be working out.

I keep waffling between grieving hard for Francesca and being numb and forgetful. I feel like I am in a fog a lot of the time. I’m still pushing hard to get stuff done to the house this week. Classes are supposed to start tonight and I’m having registration issues. (My department has record of me filing for leave, registration doesn’t. @#%@(#)$) This week is the last really hard push for house stuff because the open house is this weekend while we are in Pittsburgh. After that, the house is pretty much going to be whatever it is. Tough titty said the kitty!

That means that starting on Monday my life is going to calm down. I won’t have a job. I won’t have obnoxious parents to deal with. I won’t be working on the house semi-frantically. I will have: school two nights a week, a really heavy reading load but that’s not scary for me, my frequent rounds of appointments (acupuncture, therapy, midwife, Chris pictures), and I need to start prenatal yoga and birth classes. Oy. I keep reminding myself that this is *less* stress/time commitments than I am used to.

*fret*
*worry*
*angst*

Ok, I’ll try to stop being a moron now.