How do I say this. How do I believe this. But yet… Noah and I have decided to leave the bay area. We have been talking extensively for the past almost two years about how we would manage to afford the things we want while staying here and the options have never been pretty. Mostly what we figured out was all the ways we would have to compromise the things we want in order to afford the basics of life here. Of course it would be easy to stay here if I kept working, but that would be giving up on the most important things that we want for our children and that is to not put them in daycare and to allow them to homeschool. This is a difficult position to be in.
After a great deal of talking about our options we decided that having a certain standard of living is non-negotiable for us and the only way to have that is if we drastically cut some of our primary expenses. The only way we can make this happen is if we leave California. We have considered a wide variety of locations as possible destinations and have decided that Pittsburgh is the best option for us. Noah has friends there, job leads, and the cost of housing is simply unbeatable for places we would consider living.
We have been doing research on the area, but of course we realize that there is only so much we can do from our comfy California couch. If you have input on things we should know about different areas of town or specific helpful information about cross country moves (I have never done this sort of thing before) please feel free to tell us.
What I (and probably Noah too) don’t want to hear are complaints or criticisms about our choice, whining about how we can leave, dire predictions of failure, or other snotty opinion sharing of an unhelpful nature.
We don’t plan to leave until after the baby is born. Apparently home birth isn’t exactly legal (or illegal–it’s confusing) in Pennsylvania so it’s going to be a bit odd to deal with that once I’m already set on my option. I also have the convention in February to consider and I’m not going to flake on my obligations. (I swear Jon–I won’t abandon you too.) We will miss people, of course. But I believe that those who are our friends will handle the distance. Those who fade away probably would have anyway.
(Yes, I know this is public.)
Best of luck! This must have been a difficult decision, but it sounds like a good one for your family.
🙂 Trying to do good things.
Having lived in Pittsburgh for the first 22 years of my life, I’m quite willing to give you guys feedback. Neighborhoods, schools, etc.
You’ll be missed, but I can vouch myself that Pittsburgh’s a great place to raise kids.
You will certainly be pestered soon-ish. 🙂
Well Pitsburg isn’t a bad choice. Its still on the BART line so you can still get to SF and East bay fairly hassle free. the only time I’ve been there is during Faire, and it is HOT. So I’d put AC high on you list of must haves.
that wasn’t too negitive was it?
Not too negative, but you’re thinking of Pittsburg, not Pittsburgh 🙂
you meen Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
nope sorry that dosn’t work for me 🙂
Uhm, I’ll consider letting what works for you influence my life… or not.
Well you should, after all I am the center of the univerce and eveything is all about me 🙂
Well godspeed to you no mater what you do.
We’ll miss you, of course (Hell, I already do!), but there are things we would like to do, things we are coerced to do, and things we need to do. This seems to fall into the last one, so there’s really no point in whining. 😉
Go forth, have a fantastic life in Pittsburgh, and maybe I’ll come visit you some day when I finally get around to that All-American road trip:)
If I knew who you were I would probably say, “You would of course be welcome!” but I don’t know who you are so instead I will say, “Don’t stalk me you freak!”
😉
Good Choice
A) to stick around until after you have delivered.
B) To choose Pittsburgh.
-When you get there you MUST try a Primanti Brothers sandwich. I know the concept sounds gross, but once you bite one you can get hooked.
-Also: Outdoor Ice Skating in the park!
-Carnegie Museum.
-Walking around Three Rivers Park.
-Taking the tram up or down the hill (ask Noah, he will know what I am talking about).
-People are allowed to smoke there so you must remember to ask for non-smoking in restaurants. Hoss’s Steak house chains are the exception. They will look like a sizzler but trust me they aren’t.
-Eat’n’Park will look like Denny’s but the food quality is soooo much better.
-East End Food Co-op is Pittsburgh’s consumer owned food co-op. It is the granola crunchy organic connection. http://www.eastendfoodcoop.com.
Re: Good Choice
Heh. I’d forgotten the East End Food Co-op. Yeah, they’re definitely a good place and we’re likely to go there pretty frequently.
I’m a big fan of Primanti Bros sandwiches. The girl may need to get ’em without cole slaw 🙂
And I know about the tram, but I still have yet to ride it. It does look pretty awe-inspiring, though…
Re: Good Choice
I *like* my mid-wife and as soon as I saw that PA doesn’t really let homebirth happen it was a non-choice.
There do seem to be some neat things to go try. 🙂 And the smoking indoors thing seems to be phasing out across the country so I’ll cross my fingers. 🙂
Re: Good Choice
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/07288/825493-85.stm
It’s not happened yet, but it’s certainly in the works, and from what I hear from our Pittsburgh friends, more and more places are choosing to be non-smoking.
It is a good choice. Pittsburgh is fabulous for raising children, and as the tech market grows and the economy picks up a bit there, more of them will choose to stick around.
Go for it.
Far too many people are afraid to live life on their own terms for fear of rocking the boat. I say follow your heart.
Thank you, love. I will miss you.
Good for you for looking into what is best for your family and doing what is necessary to make those things happen….
One day at a time. 🙂
I have no advice about Pennsylvania. Even though I haven’t seen you in a long time, I’m sad to have you go. But I’m thrilled that you’re getting the chance to follow your path and live the life you want. *hugs* Good for you.
We could arrange a get-together before I go you know. There will almost certainly be a party or two.
And hopefully I won’t be a gigantic flake this time.
*hugs* Still thrilled for you two. Three. Two and a half. Whatever.
Make yourselves a wonderful life.
We’ll miss you, of course, but it sounds like you’ve made a really good (and well-considered) choice for the two of you.
I hope we run into each other a few more times before you go. 🙂
That could probably be arranged. 🙂
Ultimately, it comes to what’s best for you and your family. For all the reasons you mention, Pittsburgh sounds like a great choice.
Inertia can be a real pain, so congratulations on making what must have been a difficult decision.
I can wish you’d picked somewhere closer to cartrip to, right? I hate flying. (yay internet.)
Moving is completely understandable. If I planned on ever doing the kid thing, I’d probably have to break down and consider it too.
Do you have people you can visit there for a couple week visit before the actual move? I can only imagine that getting a preview of where you’d want to live, etc, would be a helpful thing. Or maybe renting for a short time before buying if you’re just not sure which neighborhoods you want to be in long term?
We are planning to rent for a little bit before committing to a house. 🙂
Michelle (English Michelle, you’ll have met her at sOakland) moved there with her bf last year. After the usual moving ups and downs I think she’s fairly settled & happy now. She could probably tell you lots about the city by now. I can connect you if you’re interested.
I’m still connected to her on facebook and tribe and such. I will be hunting her up. 🙂
Good luck to you both, honey. I know this decision didn’t come easy.
You will be missed when you go.
And I will be more popular in the next 6-7 months than I have ever been in my life. 😉
*grin*
*laughing*
yanno, you may be right about that…
Best wishes to you.
I’ve never been to Pennsylvania, so I don’t have much advice about that.
I’m glad I’ll get to meet your FirstKid before you move.
Certainly. 🙂
I like Pittsburgh. And frankly, the thought of more people I like living there makes it that much more attractive a destination to visit.
(Also, B and I have it in the top three of our choices of places to move after I graduate.)
It would be good to have you two move there. I would like that.
I’m reading backwards through my f-list filter, so I already gave my thoughts on angelbob’s post.
I think it’s a great idea. YOu know how fed up I was with the Bay Area and never seeing my friends and the absurd prices of everything. You have to find the place that is “home” to you in order to be truly happy. For us, it was and is Portland, and we just KNEW. You’ll know, too. Explore as much as possible and find your home!
it’s sad to hear that you’ll be further away, but pittsburgh is a lovely city and a great place to live, and i’m sure that the 3 of you will love it there!
best of luck!
I totally need to go out there and visit now. 🙂 heh
Sounds like a great plan. I’ve always liked Pittsburgh. My parents lived there for a few years before I was born (and they loved it), my brother went to school there, and I have a surprising number of friends from the CMU crowd, so I end up feeling a connection to the city even though I haven’t spent much time there. It’s on my list of places I could imagine living.
I’m nervous, but optimistic and hopeful. The alternatives are not nearly so good.
I am now going to be rooting for everyone to come out there. 🙂
I have no useful input on the subject, though I applaud you on making the hard-but-right decision.
Moving out of California terrifies the hell out of me. I may be doing it anyway – and perhaps even to Pittsburgh, for grad school. Time will tell and all that.
Oooooh grad school. That would be great. 🙂
good plan
staying until the baby is born is a good idea. Moving closer to the east coast is good, too. Put me in the 100% behind you category.
Re: good plan
I have considered the increased proximity to Miss Julia, and you, and Mr. Andy, and Danny all as serious pluses. 🙂
I’ll miss you, too. Any chance of seeing you before you go, perhaps the Winter Bash?
All my best.
I am really really really hoping to go. I will be contacting you closer-to-date about crash space. 🙂
Know this is a hard decision. It was for me. You will be closer to some of us 🙂
Here’s the move info you asked for:
Cross country move: http://www.broadwayexpress.net/
That’s who I used and they were fabulous!
Reviews: http://www.movingscam.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1935&req=be.revw
This is who Guy & Francesca used and is also highly recommended:
http://www.upack.com/
Reviews: http://www.movingscam.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=2050&req=abf.revw
Here’s where you do your research: http://www.movingscam.com/
I think that Broadway was a bit more flexible. But your situation may be different.
You so rock. 🙂 Yay! Thank you.
It would be nice to be closer to some of you. It’s kind of funny because the people I know on the East Coast are all people I have put a lot of effort into maintaining contact with and I think that speaks well to what I think of them and how much I want them in my life. Being closer would be lovely.
We will miss you. I know nothing about Pennsylvania, but Mark went to grad school at CMU. Hopefully we’ll get to see you a few times before you go.
I think seeing you more is on the needs-to-happen list. 🙂
I’m surprised, but not shocked. Then again, I was in Salem, MA for all of 2 days before asking about housing prices there.
Best wishes on doing what is best for you.
And we will be one more place for you to come visit. 🙂
Carnegie was fucking amazing, you’re right, the property/housing market there is a steal – and I never thought I would go back to Pittsburgh for a girl again, but honey, I’ll come visit you there probably more often than I would in CA!
😉 Such change, change, change. You go girl, we only live once.
You would come to PA and not CA. That’s hella funny.
You know I would always love to see you.
Hm. Well…
Hire movers. Read about moving. You pack. Plan it so you fly while your stuff drives. Delay sending the stuff if you have to so that you can know where it’s going to arrive.
You might also want to check out the laws regarding home schooling in PA.
I have only one potentially bad thing to say about Pittsburgh. In the winter it is COLD!!! If you can get past that I have heard and seen many good things about the area. The last time I was there I felt that though it was a big city it still retained a sense of community (I attribute this to the “help thy neighbor” attitude of the Amish in the surrounding countryside, it is infectious). Other pluses include, a major airport, driving distance to scenic areas of Ohio-2 Great Lakes and awesome skiing in West Virginia. Not to mention the home of the Greatest Football Team EVAH!!!! And the best part is you will be a 30 min flight from ME, yay for awesome people moving closer!! I truly wish you the best and hope everything goes well.
ps. just a thought, but should you need help in the moving, let me know
Well, we noticed that we can probably get friends to help with loading on this end but Noah would end up off-loading in PA. I’m not going to be good for much heavy lifting within two months of having a kid. 🙁
Yes then, I can be of much help with the loading-off of stuff in Pa. If you require such assistance, Please do not hesitate to give me a call and I shall be there.
Again…just a thought.
I know several Bay Areans who have moved to Pittsburgh and been very happy. Good luck!
Whoa.
Hey, if this is the right choice for you two than I give my support.
Pittsburgh and Juggling
For what it’s worth, the International Jugglers’ Association was founded in Pittsburgh in 1947. I was there for the 50th Anniversary convention in 1997. I don’t remember much about it apart from the fact that the downtown area was quite pleasant at the time.
You do know about Winter, right? When I lived in Chicago I found the extreme winters quite interesting for the first year or two, but they got old real fast.
Re: Pittsburgh and Juggling
Noah is shoveling snow. This is decided already.
I am from Pittsburgh. I lived there for a good portion of my life. I still visit there regularly.
It’s a great place to be from.
I will still see you there, and I hope you enjoy the city.
I’ll do my best to enjoy it. 🙂
Damn. sad to hear you are leaving. I totally understand, of course. But I am sad non-the-less. At least both Mike and I have family on the east coast, so maybe visiting isn’t out of the question if that’s okay with you.
I meant “none” not “non”
Dude! It’s more than okay, that would be wonderful. Just cause I don’t see you more doesn’t mean that I don’t wish that I saw you more.
Oh my gosh, that’s my hometown! I’ve thought about moving back there often myself, for the same kinds of reasons you’re planning to go, and very well may end up doing it yet. I get back there as often as possible, never less than once a year, and sometimes more often.
We will miss you here, of course, but I’m predicting you will fall in love with the place and never look back. The most common reaction of newcomers, especially those with families, is amazement at how much the area has to offer – and a desire to never leave. It’s not a great place to be single, but it is absolutely unbeatable for families and raising children. It’s an incredibly well-kept secret.
There’s not as much to do as there is here because it’s smaller, but it’s also an incredibly easy trip to so many other neat places, and people are just so much more mellow that life is just sweeter. And what there is to do is so dramatically cheaper that you’ll do more of it than you ever have here.
Drop me an email (because I’ve lost yours – ask Paula to give it to you if you don’t remember it) and I’ll be happy to share any information I have, answer any questions I can. I’ve still got many family members and friends there, including in the scene (one of my favorite playpartners, among others), and can point you towards anything you may need or want.
Wendy
Congratulations !!
On all of your choices! To move to PA, to have the baby at home, and to home school! These are all fabulous choices! I wish you so much happiness and success with all of these things.
I would like to say though.. that Home Birth is neither legal nor illegal in PA. There are Midwives who specialize in home birth there; and of course the Amish there have their babies at home. For more information on Home Birth in PA visit:
PA association of licensed midwives (PALM): http://www.pamidwives.org/index.htm
PALM statement on home birth: http://www.pamidwives.org/word/august%20edits/HOMEBIRTH.doc
Rising Moon Midwifery: http://www.risingmoommidwifery.com/index.html
Womanwise – Home Birth & Women’s Health: http://www.womanwise.info/main.html
and here is a pretty well written bit about the “legality” of home birth in PA: http://www.pahomebirth.com/AboutMidwives.html#Anchor-Lega-15103
After reading that bit, I would contact a midwife in PA if you want to have the baby there and talk to them because since that bit of information was written – PA has passed and the govenor has signed a bill giving Nurse/Midwives Prescriptive authority – which in many cases totally legitimizes their profession with the state.
Anyway… its just something to think about. I am so very happy for you and Noah! Again, congratulations!
Blake
Re: Congratulations !!
Thank you for all of this information. After posting this I discovered that I am five months pregnant, not three so moving before the baby comes is even less likely than it was to start with. I have a wonderful midwife here and I will be quite happy to keep working with her and move after the baby comes. I will keep this information in mind as I am very likely to have more children. 🙂
Pee-AY!
don’t be so nebby!
wlllyuns go aughtside.
getcher tossle cap outta tha jagger bush.
then get the sweeper and
read-up the soap flakes spilt on the davenport
pick up the gumbands
and warsh up for eats.
it’s jumbo hoagies
with chip-chop from isaly’s!
after, go with to dahntahn?
your child will understand all that
by the age of 3.
i’ll tell you what.
coming into pittsburgh
from the tunnel…
i match that entrance to a city
against any place in the whole world!
Noah grew up in Texas and doesn’t speak like a Texan. It can be accomplished in PA too. 😛
oh, my…
picskburghese is ‘way more insidious than mere texan.
*I* didn’t even grow up there
but got it 2nd hand
from my mum (you’ll be a mum too, someday)
who was raised south of the city
near sewickley and coraopolis.
gumband, gumshoes, gumboots!
rubberband, tennis-shoes, rubberboots!
Wow. I don’t know how I missed this posting, but somehow I did.
You know I love you, and you know I wish the very best for you and Noah and Lizard. That doesn’t mean this doesn’t make me a bit sad — but then, I was sad when my son stayed in Tennessee when I moved here, and I was sad when my (other) daughter moved to Portland, after having moved out to CA from Charleston. I have some experience with moving coast-to-coast, but it looks like you’ve been getting some good advice already.
I know that love has no bounds, if it’s really love. Of course, distance, coupled with an omg-busy-as-hell life, is going to make seeing you then even more difficult than it is now. And that’s the sad-making part.
Now, as far as Pittsburgh goes, I’ve only been there once. I have a vague recollection of its being a rather nice place. I grew up about four hours southeast of there in Maryland. I know everyone’s warning you about the winters, but let me just say … you’re gonna have some gorgeous autumns before those winters arrive.
Do what you need to do for the three of you. Those of us who love you will do whatever we need to do to keep you in our lives.