From the community…

1. How impulsive are you?

Incredibly. I am insanely impulsive.

2. What is the most impulsive thing you’ve ever done?

I have a couple of things… it’s hard to determine what is the “most” impulsive. Going to Australia with teamnoir when I didn’t really know him was impulsive. When I dropped out of high school. Recovering from that was significant. Saying yes when my best friend asks me if I want to try again and see if we can figure out a relationship that will include marriage and kids and M/s. That is… impulsive. But good. Maybe it isn’t impulsive because I have been thinking about it for a long long time–I just didn’t think I would have this chance.

3. What is the most unimpulsive (i.e., deliberative) thing you’ve ever done?

Going to school has been a big thing. I jones on planning though. Just for the hell of it. I planned my Europe trip down to the smallest detail.

4. How easy do you usually find it to make decisions about what you want to do?

Fairly easy. I know what I want and what I need. Once in a while I have trouble following through on it because I feel guilty about how I will affect other people.

5. What was the last impulse that you had? Did you act on it? Why or why not?
My last impulse was to jump back into the deep end of a relationship with Noah. It’s scary for a variety of reasons. The biggest drawback in doing this has been the hurt caused to the woman he has been involved with for most of the last year. I haven’t wanted to ask him to be involved with me again because I know how selfish it is to ask him to leave her for me. So I didn’t ask. But I wanted it and he knew I wanted it. Eventually it has reached a point where he made the decision to leave her. She is hurting now and I feel enormous guilt because my happiness is dancing on the grave of her relationship. I didn’t want this. I don’t get to pick how everything is going to work in life though. I believe strongly enough that he and I can figure it out that I am willing to give this a full shot though. So much has changed in the last year and a half for both he and I. What didn’t work then has changed drastically. I’ve always loved him. We want the same things. We get along so well.

So I did it. I said yes when he asked me to give him another chance. He said yes to my silent begging that I don’t have to lose the best person in the world for me.

I wondered why he was being so discouraging about the idea of me potentially moving out of state…