ETA: If you give me any fucking advice or ‘next time you should’ in any way shape or fucking form I will delete the fucking comment and ban you from ever commenting again. I’m not sure I can express how fucking foul my mood is.
Today has been a fucking horrible day. So I spent most of the day trying like mad to induce labor. It’s a hard thing to do. It’s often painful and never fun. My doula was here for most of the day with us because she brought over a pretty powerful abortifacient that often, but not always works. I was taking it every fifteen minutes for hours an hours and it was certainly causing gnarly strong contractions. No cervical progress. At some point in the afternoon my midwife showed up and when she got here with her kid and the whole circus… the contractions stopped. The noise, the distraction, just EVERYTHING was too much. I asked for her kid (and my doula’s) to leave. So they arranged childcare and it was a couple of hours before both kids could be picked up. At some point in here I finally got my midwife to sit down and talk about what was going on with my labor–or lack there of. She told me that in her opinion I had ~24 more hours before she would call it and I had to go to a hospital anyway. Given the clusterfuck that would be having to deal with transferring childcare around I asked her if we should just go today and she said that was probably a good decision.
The circus moved to the hospital. We got there, checked in, did some exam stuff… then comes this startling revelation! They can tell if my water has broken by doing a super quick swab then wiping it on this little piece of litmus tape. Literally a fucking 30 second procedure and there is no god damn reason in the world that my fucking midwife should not be able to perform this procedure. The doctor said it is very possible that I did have a high leak because they often reseal themselves but at this time I don’t have a problem and I should just go home. (Then there was fuss with him being called out to deliver a baby RIGHT NOW and I wasn’t allowed to leave until he officially came back and signed me out. This was annoying because the nurse required me to stay on the table with the monitors.)
Then my doula says that she wants to go and she leaves me with the parting crack of, “And remember the next time I see you it should be real labor–five minutes in between contractions, for at least a minute for an hour.” Wow. Awesome way of giving me a smack for wasting your time. My midwife bailed at that point too. Fine. Then Noah and I wait around for a while and get a lovely little lecture from the doctor and nurse about how when my labor actually starts I should just come straight back to the hospital because what I am planning is a bad idea.
This whole fucking day is fired. Most of what I did today was unpleasant or flat out hurt. And it all could have been fucking prevented if my midwife had done a god damn 30 second long low-tech test.
Doh! Ok, that sucks.
Wow. That sounds hellish.
I am impressed that you got through all that without smacking anyone. I want to, just reading about it.
I’m so sorry.
Wow, talk about midwife fail! Big hugs to you and yours!
That sounds horrible. I’m so, so sorry you went through all that. I commend you, though, for not smacking anybody, because as commented already, that sounds like a smack-worthy kind of day just from reading about it, much less living through it.
You are right. They were wrong.
Good luck.
Jackasses! All of ’em!
They all have stupid faces (sorry, this is the best i can come up with.)
Arrrgh! I had a doctor tell me with my first, “Well at least you know what labor feels like for the next time.”
Guess what, my second labor was totally unlike my first, nothing from my first experience related to my second! I hate the idea that birth is some sort of categorical process with clear steps, like the uterus is some sort of machine and we are reading the dials wrong.
I am glad you had an advocate in your partner. I won’t offer any advice, but will leave it at this shouldn’t have happened and I am happy to join in firing today, it was too damn hot anyway.
That totally sucks, and I’m sorry that you’re going through it.
Next time the fucking universe should be nicer to you.
I am sorry you had such a crappy day. I hope things start going better for you.
I can’t even imagine what you’re going through, that just totally sucks.
Fuck. Fuck them. Fuck them all.
You’re right … that’s not cutting it anymore…
Hugs and good wishes
No advice, just hugs and more hugs.
It really sucks when you’re doing everything right, communicating and being helpful, then the others in the exercise drop the ball. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this hell. I’ll continue to think good thoughts, and wish for the best for you and the wee babe.
Well hell. What happened to empathy and that other good stuff.
Proud of you for not doing a smack down on them. Uhh, can I? I have really sharp elbows and teeth.
I am sorry to hear it, and I will send supportive thoughts your direction. But that really, really sounds like it sucked.
Glad the hospital did it’s job of helping out when it looked like there was a problem, glad you were able to leave after it was clear there wasn’t a problem.
May you find whatever you need to get through this.
*hug* that’s an incredibly awful day. You’re in my thoughts – I dreamed about being in labor myself last night, which is a completely bizarre dream for me and must have come from worrying about how you were doing!
Hang on a minute, I need to pick my jaw up off the floor.
I’m … beyond words. I had been wondering, when I didn’t see anything from either of you anywhere. I am so sorry to learn it was because you were going through *this*.
I don’t trust myself to comment on the “help” you’re getting, so I’ll just leave that alone. (Except to say I’m appalled at their blaming you for their own ineptitude.)
What I will say is how proud I am of you. You are being very strong through this. (Being justifiably pissed doesn’t mean you’re not also being strong.)
I love you, and I wish there was some way I could help. But there’s not, really, so I’ll just stick with loving you.