Don’t know what to do with these feelings.

I need to tell Shanna no when she asks to watch birth videos. Every so often I kind of freak out and sob because I feel so much grief over the fact that I will never have a son. Every birth video I see where they have a son I sob and feel so envious I can barely see straight. In no way shape or form do I wish either of my girls away. I’m actually enjoying having a girl a little bit more this time because I feel less self-imposed-inhibition about enjoying the more ‘girly’ clothes.

But I have dreamed of my son for so long. It hurts so much that I will never get to see what that person would be like.

3 thoughts on “Don’t know what to do with these feelings.

  1. mzkero

    Me too

    I completely and utterly understand. I am so envious of my friends who have mixed gender children. I cry a little inside. We will not be having any more children. And this makes me cry because I will never see my little girl. I don’t wish my boys were not mine I just wish that we also had a daughter. (I’m crying writing this)

    my heartsore sympathies

    Reply
  2. rbus

    My neighbor once told me he felt his life was incomplete because he never had a son.

    just *yesterday* I was talking to a woman with four boys and had “tried one last time for a girl.” she’s now pregnant with twins. boys.

    she laughed a little and then said, wistfully, “i hope i can talk my husband into trying one last, one last time.”

    obviously very strong feelings.

    Reply

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