I’m not sure what to think about something. When someone adamantly insists, “I’m not being hostile or aggressive” but a sample of more than ten people all perceive someone as being both hostile and aggressive… something is broken in the process. Maybe there are some learned behaviors that appear hostile and aggressive that are happening unconsciously whether you feel that way or not.

Body telegraphing, if you will.

People certainly believe they have the right to punish you for variations from the emotional affect they believe you should have. You think I’m wrong? Watch little kids in a classroom. They are punished routinely for having the wrong attitude.

I worry about being someone who tone polices other people. I don’t think that is good juju. (I am reading Ashe Dryden because she wrote a neat article.)

If someone jumps up and down saying they aren’t angry but their body language is perceived as being aggressive they will be punished.

You have to learn how to “show” the same “feelings” as the people around you or you will be punished. It’s a lot more complicated than it seems. It is very cultural and people are required to adapt from environment to environment or they will be punished.

Try church hopping if you want an example of this. Holy toledo.

Silencing is the word Ashe uses.

Human communities are communities whether they are individual tech companies, web forums, bdsm communities, churches, schools, retail stores, or fast food chains in my experience. We don’t get away from our innate desire to find people who validate us and make us feel better about being the way we are.

When people tell me they don’t have that desire they are usually arguing about why they want to keep their social status on a website forum because they aren’t interested in other forms of social status. Whatever dude. I feel you. I go through my forum phases and I don’t judge.

The internet is going to change everything.

Only it won’t change a god damn thing. Because we will just bring all the everything with us. I am interested in what will happen. I still kind of hope that I will live through another revolution of some kind.

I mean, I already am. Not really. But I am living through the transition from the Industrial Age into the Technology Era and I’m doing it in the time and place where that is being made. I am sitting in my garage staring at a device that would seem like magic to any of my grandparents.

All of my grandparents died before 1990 and three of them died before 1980. They couldn’t imagine my MacBook Air. It’s playing music. I can see my pictures organized on a screen behind the one on which my magic typewriter is writing. My typewriter isn’t even attached to anything–it just floats free and has a magic sensor that lets it talk to my laptop.

Magic I tell you.

That’s a revolution in and of itself. The sheer access to information I have had in my life is magic. I used to have a lot of spare time. You know what I did? I read. A lot of it was shit. But I learned words. I learned concepts. I have the ability to imagine things that I’m pretty sure my family still can’t. Not because they couldn’t–but they are incredibly unlikely to care.

My grandparents would probably all be horrified by me if they knew me, even if they only saw the “settled” results. I did end up in a heterosexual relationship with two kids. I do dress them very conservatively. In some ways, shouldn’t I be worthy of approval?

Nope. I tell my kids they don’t owe any fucking adult their god damn submission. If someone tells you to do something that isn’t about your *safety* you need to decide how much you care about honoring their request. Don’t make messes other peoples have to clean up–that’s an asshole thing to do. But a lot of people are going to randomly tell you yes or no or whatever just to feel powerful. They have no power over you. You don’t have to fucking care if they approve of whether you are obedient enough.

That’s just not relevant.

So I’m pretty sure my grandparents wouldn’t approve. And yet their living great grandmother thinks they are awesome. She works with poor kids in a poor rural area. My kids know so much. They can talk about so many things. She’s not used to dealing with kids who are talked to one on one all day.

I think a lot about the things I learned from Sobonfu. Your ancestors are tied to you. It is their fault you are here so they owe you. It doesn’t matter if they like it. They can suck it. If they didn’t want to be responsible for you then they should have been more careful about what they sowed, eh?

I really like that view. I was raised with the opposite idea. That we owe permanent obedience and service to the ancestors for the blessing of birth. I hate my system.

I, however, have read enough economics to understand why “let the ancestors take care of things” is mixed.

Dependence. Obedience. How much do these things matter in communities, businesses, humans?

I don’t know. But writing time is over.

Oh! I ran the half marathon. My time was approximately 2:52. I don’t have the official race results yet. The early part was great. I kept pace with the 2:40 pacer up until mile 11 when I started having ankle spasms. I feel quite proud of my ability to finish under 3 hours given how much that hurt. It didn’t hurt if I walked very carefully. Only if I bent my feet.

Ok, now to schedule the next half and figure out what exercises I should be doing to strengthen that muscle. Holy shit ow.