I woke up this morning feeling very touch needy. I have a date with friends tonight. I will probably get snuggles then. It’s a good thing cause I need it pretty bad.

The night started out very sketchy. I didn’t have high hopes for it. I was upset and sad and I felt like I would never get back into the right headspace, but I decided to try anyway. I am not a wuss.

So I drove over late. He didn’t seem angry with me; instead—just glad I was there at all. We talked about why I was upset and how we both needed distraction. The California Mindfucker was in high form trying to get me to talk about what bothers me and what I’m not over and how and why. It was semi-productive, but I still don’t really know how to “get over” the things that are bothering me. Anyway. That will have to be dealt with more in the future. Shocker.

We went up to PE. I haven’t been there in a while. I really didn’t think it was worth the extra money to go up to the couples area. But I can now say that I have seen it. Enh, whatever. We went down to the tried and try cage on the lower floor. I liked the way he had me face away so that he could undo the buttons on my shirt. It was very tender. Then removing my bra and cupping my breasts. It was the sweet before the bitter that makes sm so amazing.

He had me stand against a platform. Angled for better access. Apparently better access to my left side, judging from the bruising pattern. No, I am not complaining. I think symmetry is over rated. It was intense. It went on and on. There were breaks for things like water or the restroom. Apparently it went on for hours. It was distinctly trancelike for me. It hurt and at least once the pain was enough to bring me down. But just long enough to process the hard, jagged edge of the pain. When I absorbed it I stood up again. More and more and more. We finally stopped when we were interrupted for the second time. My noise was scaring the wankers.

We went back to his house. I was too tired to be useful. But I love it when the snuggling up leads to moving, leads to ok, maybe I do have enough energy. It was yummy. More snuggling and talking in the morning. I really like talking with him.

I have noticed another pattern! I have two kinds of boys I like. (Girls have less of a pattern it seems.) I have the boys who won’t talk about emotions or really talk to me much at all… (Tom and Stephen were the two biggest examples so far [hey wait, my two longest term relationships]) or the boys who want to dissect me in minute detail. Two of them I can’t seem to get away from. I like them too much. It is actually occurring to me that I distinctly miss the person I had the more brief contact with last year. I wonder how he would react to being pinged? Hm. Only one way to find out. I wonder if I have the nerve. It is February after all. *giggle*