We just did the exchange of, “When I tell you ‘I am doing x event’ I am really telling you, ‘Would you like to come with me to x event?'” Nothing like clarity in communication. 😀 So I may skip waltzing this Friday to go over to his friends house. The friend who asks him, “Are you still dating what’s-her-face?” Why yes. Yes he is. And it is going so much better than I could have hoped.

He is continually surprising me. Everytime I think I have reached the absolute possible outer limits of his coolness and patience, he pulls up reserves. We have spent the last several nights talking and playing and having sex. For hours and hours and hours. It is really amazing. I really love that I can ask him if I can show him how to do something. Then I show him. Then he shows me how to do something. Then I practice it. Then he decides that show and tell is over and he is going to do what he wants to do. *swoon* We have discussed extensively how he really has less than no interest in bottoming or submitting. He is actually rather insecure about his lack of interest. “What do you think of the idea that someone can’t be a good dominant/master unless they have submitted?” Oh honey. It’s ok. In the past couple of nights we have had some rather intense play. In one exchange he was talking to me, he told me a variety of things that I am–and I assented. (No, you filthy perverts don’t get to know what names he calls me. :P) And he asked me if I wanted to be his slave. Dude. Uhm. That is a word that means a LOT to me. I don’t think it is a casual thing. I took a deep breath and told him yes. Then I told him that a more important question is, does he want to be my Master? His response was that he already is. In the days after this exchange we talked about what he believes a Master is, how a person becomes one, and how both of us believe that it is highly probable/possible that you can be one person’s Master and not be anyone else’s. It isn’t a one-size-fits-all role. We haven’t really delved deeply into what a potential full M/s relationship for us would look like. Uhm. Let’s date for a few more months first. I learned a lot from shoving James into the role of “Daddy” and I hope I don’t make the mistake of pushing someone into the shape I have in my head again. That being said, I think these early conversations are a good idea. I think if Tom and I had talked about things more early on it would have saved us a lot of heart ache when we discovered that our views weren’t really compatable.

I am finally on the freakin invite list for the sex party I’ve been going to for almost 8 months. HA! Bloody figures. Puppy and I are going. We have talked about the possibility of sex with people at the party. His comments were that he really has no interest in being with anyone else. So he will not be engaging in sex play with other people. However, he wants me to be happy and if that includes having sex with other people at this party then he gets my ass. *blink* What did you say?! Oh my god. Filthy pervert. Have I mentioned that at the rate we are going we are going to double the amount of anal sex I have had in my lifetime inside of a month? Was that tmi? HA! Oh well. So this reaction truly startled me. I asked him why he thinks he will be ok with this. He told me that he is more confident in my devotion than he felt with any of the partners who brought up poly and that is allowing him to be more flexible in his own definition of what is ok. Interesting food for thought. We also reached a decision about an event that is upcoming that I will be writing about probably today in a much tighter filter. I’m kind of nervous.

I just talked to Tom on the phone. I am picking up my cat soon because she is moving in with my mom and sister. (They are moving to a big, spiffy house! I am so excited for them!) I will be giving him back his keys, picking up the motor oil I haven’t gotten back yet and he will be giving me the excess paint that we talked about getting rid of. He is working on selling the house. It was like being stabbed in the chest. Why does it still hurt so much? I have such wonderful stuff starting with Puppy, and yet there is still agony there. I feel very awkward about it. Puppy is likely to meet Tom this weekend because I have to go pick up the paint on Saturday before heading to my mom’s. Puppy wants to come help my family. I think he is crazy for wanting to meet them. *woof* This is going to be quite the stressful weekend.

Breath. Just think about all the good stuff.