I found a recipe that I wanted to make for dinner. It sounded hella good and I was really looking forward to it. I’ve been working on prep for about an hour. Puppy just called and checked in and I asked him about dinner. He said that he had a really big late lunch and he won’t be hungry. It’s a bunch of meat–way too much for me. Enough for maybe four people actually. It was going to be a lot with him helping, I was thinking that Ken might stay cause he often does after they go shooting.
My reaction: absolute rage. I am furious, but I don’t know what at. I feel angry and frustrated and I want to cry and break something. This is just fucking dinner. Why am I so upset? He didn’t do anything wrong and in fact he was extremely courteous. But I feel completely shitty and horrible. I’m probably going to toss the meat in the freezer now, because I feel utterly useless and pathetic and because my reaction was so totally over the top I am sitting here crying.
Why can’t I be normal?
Sometimes darling it just takes a little disappointment to make that heap o hurt a crushing one. It’ll be ok.
Did you read my astrological warning? Perhaps that stuff plays into it.
I’m glad your not normal. Whatever that is. Normal is boring.
Your not boring. And I’m glad.
I don’t cook. I have no patience for it. But if I did I would want everyone I cooked for to stand up and notice and ooh and ahh and make satisfied sounds.
It’s a disappointment hon. That’s all. But your wonderful.
XOXOX
Why can’t I be normal?
Silly. I think this was a pretty normal thing. Maybe my view of reality is scewed too. *shrugs* I’ve gotten upset about meals before. I’ve thrown entire dinners away …and much more dramatic things then that even.
Give yourself a break, and schedule a time to try that recipe!
*huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugs*
I have a friend coming over on Tuesday. She is going to get a *fabulous* meal. 🙂
Building up to trying to do something nice and having it be ruined, however simply and completely, sucks ass. I’d be pissed, too.
Just curious – was all this rage after you hung up with him? Did you let him know what you’d been planning – or was it a generalized “how about dinner” sort of inquiry? I suspect he might have been able to work up a bit of an appetite had he known that you’d been planning something special….
I got more upset after I hung up. I didn’t tell him that I had major plans, just that I was working on dinner.
He told me when he got home that he would be willing to try and eat some in a few hours, but that would have been a let down. After lots of talking we decided that making it on Tuesday when a friend is coming over and everyone knows about it and expects it is a good thing.
co-dependent much?
Love & kisses to you. I know that YOU know that you don’t need his approval all the time. You’re extra stressed right now. So be extra forgiving to yourself… and avoid situations that could go bad. Like setting up surprises. Just plan everything out loud for awhile.
Also: cell phones?
Also: PMS?
hugs.
You arent useless or pathetic.. many of us love you!
On top of other stresses things like this can break us down (I have felt the smae way more than once over similar things)
Make it a beautiful picknick lunch perhaps?
I have a wonderful friend coming over on Tuesday that I was trying to figure out how I wanted to spoil her. This is the perfect answer. 🙂
*hugs*
Two questions.
First, I know it’s not a popular question, but most women I know tend to find it reassuring when they don’t understand their reactions. Have you looked at a calendar lately? Ie, where’s your cycle? And how’s your stress level?
Second, I know you’ve been sorting through some big old “stuff” this year. So it seems reasonable to ask… what’s the probability that some old stuff might be looking for an excuse to escape?
Questions asked, I’m glad you aren’t normal. Normal is boring. You aren’t useless. *grin*. I suppose you can be pathetic if you really want to but I’m positive that it’s not a requirement for you.
*hug*
Yeah, I started my period about 12 hours later. My stress level isn’t that high, but it is high enough for me to be on edge.
I think I have so much shit right now that wants out that there is no possible way for me to look for it all.