It occurs to me that there is a word to describe the problem I have with female friends: “Codependent“. I’m an enabler. I like to take care of people and “fill in the gaps” on what they “can’t do for themselves”. I want to take care of people so they will turn around and fill my emotional needs and take care of me.

I totally set myself up as the victim and feel like people are persecuting me when they choose to step out of the dance of dependence. I’m a serious asshole that way. When I stand up for my needs I feel like shit. I feel like I am violating the contract.

So I tend to not take care of myself until I completely explode and pull a nearly Borderline black/white thinking trick and decide that the person who can’t meet my needs has to be cut out of my life entirely. That’s not helpful.

I need to learn h