Ok, I had a margarita yesterday and impulsively decided to do something. I invited the psycho-ex over. Some of you may start going through your mental rolodex now and think…”But… I thought she didn’t have a psycho ex…” You would be so right. I have entirely reasonable, wonderful ex-boyfriends. Puppy has a psycho ex-girlfriend though. And he wanted me to meet her and I am stupid, so I gave in.
I don’t like her. I don’t like her in any way. She is competitive about everything. If she has done something one time she is better than anyone else who has ever done it. I had my friend Mo over as a buffer, and that was a really smart idea. This bitch had the presumption to sit there and lecture Mo on what working theatre is like. For those of you who don’t know Mo (your life is much less amusing, I’m sorry) she has been a working actor for 30 years. Most of that time in theatre. So this stupid little bitch has been doing theatre for two years and wants to lecture Mo? My jaw literally hit my chest. The conversation morphed and I made a comment about loving amazon.com’s used section because I save messloads of money. She then lectured me on why she believes it is better to support local booksellers because real people are behind them. Look bitch, the people on amazon are real people who need to eat as well. And if I had a rich mommy and daddy footing the bill maybe I could afford to be more fucking liberal with my money as well. Mo and I started talking about Andrew (ok the conversation started because we were discussing porn and I brought up “Lusty Lesbians”) and I showed her the books that he gave me before he moved. Two very very very nice books. One is a copy of Milton printed in 1832 and the other is a book on religious discourse in Italian printed in the mid 18th century. I don’t remember the year and I have to stop and think about roman numerals too hard. This prompted this bitch to go off on how she has an extensive collection of old religious books in numerous languages. I think if she hadn’t had a nasty tone of voice I would have felt she was trying to identify with me, but she wasn’t. She was trying to top me and I just don’t play those games. I was just talking about how great Andrew was, not how great I am for having two books. Whoopie. The objects aren’t important in and of themselves and I am not going to play games about who is better for having them.
I want to get this bitch in a room with japlady so bad I can taste it. I even told Puppy that I really want those two to be in a room together. Yeah… it will be funnier than hell. About 15 minutes into the conversation my thought was japlady is going to hate her. I am sick enough that this made my smile go from ear to ear.
She lectured me about Disney. Ok. Stop and think about this one. I am a major Disney-phile who has done more research than a sane person should on the history of the movies and somewhat about the company. AND I did my best to do my focus on children’s literature. Ok bitch, tell me again about how Disney changed the stories? I’m too stupid to understand and I need small words as you tell me this surprising fact. I think this section of the conversation alone would have made me hate her. Do Not talk down to me on one of my pet topics. Just don’t. It is a fast way of earning my emnity.
And those games that japlady predicted? In spades and of course Puppy didn’t notice. Lots of female game playing shit possessive references to him and his family and friends. She has seen him recently and he told me she already asked those questions, but uhm… they had to be said in front of me to indicate that she has some sort of insider knowledge? I don’t give a shit. He looked at something on the computer and then closed the browser. The desktop picture is one of he and I and the rest of his family when we were white water rafting in North Carolina last month. Her eyes narrowed and she asked about the picture in a really nasty tone of voice. I started blinking and felt flat shocked. Dude. At least try to hide your nastiness. I kind of felt like she declared war and I didn’t have to be nice anymore.
And she is very young. We got into a debate on word origin of the word cohort and Puppy pulled out his Latin dictionary. She started thumbing around idly and started doing the Beavis and Butthead laugh when she found the word “coitus.” I couldn’t help myself. I said, “Wow. I feel like I am sitting in a high school classroom.” She didn’t like that at all and was really pissy. She brought it up and was nasty about it four more times before she left.
I feel no need to become friends with this petty, obnoxious, little girl. I gave it a shot. I’m done. And yes, I think she is potentially dangerous. That kind of fierce competition with no filter on her impulsive behavior is dangerous. I don’t think it matters what I think. Puppy is going to do whatever he wants.
I kind of felt like she declared war and I didn’t have to be nice anymore.
Unless Puppy really notices these games, *at the time*, be very careful with this. No, really, very careful. Responding in kind but recognizably to him (and remember that Puppy probably knows you better than her, and certainly gets more reminders of what you’re like) will make you look bad.
Which is almost certainly part of why she’s acting that way.
Yes, yes, it really sucks. Restrain your righteous (and justified) anger a bit anyway, because otherwise she wins. Inviting Rebecca over, though, is a whole different ball of wax, and is an everybody-but-the-petty-ex-wins situation in my book.
I know. I know I know I know I know.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
N is right. I hate to admit it (not because I begrudge him being right but because its a trap I fall into constantly, and am only ever forgiven in hindsight when folks realize I knew what I was talking about — and even then its only a small percentage that will admit it). I recently has a simular situation. If you’re talking to someone who just is clueless about seeing this sort of stuff then if you bring it up, regardless of if you are right (and unless you have a room full of people who saw what you saw independently of you and will back you up) the person will only see it as “you are crazy” or some such…. Like I said I’m currently having just such a problem with a person who shall remain nameless and is utterly clueless about people in general.
My counter: I brought up this situation/possibility with Puppy and he told me to go ahead and defend myself in any way I feel like I should. He flat told me that I don’t have to put up with feeling attacked. He told me that he would appreciate it if I didn’t escalate the issue, but responding in kind is well within my rights.
nod … you can keep him
Your life is too precious to spend moments of it with such a puerile person…*
Where does she fit in his life now?…and why do you have to invite her into yours?
He feels she is a close friend and he wants to spend time with friends in combination, and that means with me. 🙁
ouch ouch ouch ouch!
I am so sorry, this sounds just horrid 🙁
Sounds like someone I’d love to meet. Mostly because I don’t know anyone right now that I don’t feel bad about really tearing into. But christ! Changing stories, literature, linguistics, folklore… them’s MY stomping grounds too! I wannna play!
Sorry, just been spoiling for a really good, intelligent fight lately.
Wow! You see, I am reading your journal entries from the latest entry backwards so my previous comment was made without having read this one. Not that I am changing my mind about what I said, but basically she has shown her stripes. And I am wondering why Puppy isn’t stepping in and stopping her from being nasty and condescending to you. He is just, sort of, watching this interaction go on. I don’t think this is a contest where anyone wins or loses. Puppy ought to know she is acting like an ass. If she is acting like an ass you get to set limits. That includes calling her on her asinine behavior and not taking it to look polite.
When I was reading the entry it really reminded me of a Kids In The Hall sketch called Apollo. I can lend the DVD to you if you’d like. It is basically this scene where a guy brings a new friend to meet his other friend and the new friend says insult after insult after insult until the other guy explodes at him with a well deserved “Who do you think you are!” rant – meanwhile the third guy keeps being oblivious and making excuses for his rude friend. Insert you, the ex and Puppy and you have the scene played out all over again in real time. If you had done the rant, I think we (the audience) would have all clapped.
She sounds wretched. I’m really sorry, and I’m doubly sorry that Puppy is deliberately setting you up. I’m going to hush up now.
I really think having your staunch friends around who can and will sit on her for her bad behavior is a good idea. It doesn’t seem like the three of you should spend a lot of time together. Your discomfort with him being there with her a lot alone also seems reasonable.
Maybe you could suggest that she not come over to the house unless it’s a larger social event, where you could be expected to have more than a couple of people there to get your back? You obviously can’t expect Puppy to see when she’s attacking you in girlspeak, so you need more friends around than just one or two.