I woke up this morning from a dream in which four men were trying to rape me. I managed to get away because the sheer fierceness of my fighting back momentarily startled them enough that I escaped hands and ran. In the dream got to a fairly safe place and tried to call 911 and was put on hold indefinitely. I felt totally invalidated, much like I did when I was date raped when I was 18 and the police officer later asked me what I expected when I brought a boy to a party with alcohol. 🙁
I want to cry. I feel uncertain and off-balance and just rather disturbed. I have a great deal of work to get done today though so I need to suck it up. But I feel very lonely and scared. I hate waking up to nightmares.
I want Daddy. But there isn’t a Daddy. There is just me. I know I am strong enough to get through feeling this way, but I don’t want to have to be. I want to be just a little girl right now.
Big Hugs, sweetie. You know you can always call me if you need to talk, even in the middle of the night. I may not be COHERENT right away, but I wake up quickly, and who knows what funny things I will say when you call.
Sorry to hear this. Sometimes our dreams are more real than waking and that is rarely a comfortable feeling. You’re friends are here for whatever support you need.
*hugs*
:/
I had a bad dream too… must be going around.
::hugs::
Re: :/
Actually, now that you mention it, I had a bad dream, too. Real whopper that pulled me bolt upright out of sleep. I wonder…
There may not be a Daddy, but remember you do have tons of friends who you can call, who will all listen to you, give you a shoulder to cry on, arms around you, and will whisper “It will be OKs” in your ear until you’re ready to face the world.
Let me know if you want a dream bitten.
warm hugs and soft forehead kisses sent your way dear.
I think its awesome that your subconcious allowed you the strength of breaking away in your dream, and taking control by calling. I am so sorry you feel off kilter. Any chance you could do something pampering like a manicure or pedicure today?
I actually don’t find manicures or pedicures to be very soothing. They involve a stranger touching me and I’m not huge on that.
It is like I know I have some power in my dreams… but not quite enough.
;(
Sorry hon. A bad dream can fuck me up all day. I understand. And that dream sounds pretty ugly. Who knows though, maybe the next time you have such a dream it’ll have a better ending. Maybe you could think on how you would have best liked to end the dream. Tack on your own ending.
Here’s a hug though, girl, if you want it. *SMOOSH*
I’ve had similar dreams in the last month – all about feeling vulnerable, like someone tries to make me helpless, and I wake FURIOUS that someone is trying to do that, and fighting all the way.
the difference is that, five years ago, I would have woke with tears of despair or hopelessness instead of angry tears.
Have you noticed a change in your dream-outcomes? That was what got me thru the recent series of nasty dreams… I realized I was feeling helpless in some part of my life. So I started looking into it and figuring out the why of it…
And then I told my brain that was enough of that, thank you – so I got another couple of vivid-as-hell dreams, which at least weren’t nightmares… one disturbing (one of my students tried to kiss me in the dream and I ALMOST let him, in the dream) and one just funny (an impromptu singalong in 6th period Drama…)
I keep wanting to check if Mercury’s in retrograde again… *sigh*
I’m sorry I can’t be your Daddy nor can I find you one… but if you ever want to hang out, for any reason, I would love to…
Mercury is in retrograde I believe. In Pisces.
*hugs*
I too think it’s a sign of strength and empowerment to have been able to fight back – I know that’s exhausting though.
I hope you’ve had sound sleep and that these scary dreams fade. Dreams are hard. I more often then not just can’t remember them at all, but when I do – they tweak my brain a bit indeed.