The tat seems to be doing much better than expected. It isn’t painful anymore but it is INCREDIBLY sensitive. It’s kind of nifty.
Thanks to a fabulous girl in the city I am reading, The Devil Wears Prada and loving it greatly. Yay.
Tonight I get to introduce one of my oldest friends to my boys and that should be fun. Hell, it will be great to see her. I think it has been a year this time. (She works on a cruise ship so I don’t see her much.)
I am having a real hard time making nice in a few places and I want to scream and punch people. Not necessarily the people I don’t want to deal with, just someone as a stand in to let out frustration. I’m not actually angry at the people I don’t want to deal with it’s just… complicated.
I am so angry with the city-centrists that I would like to say fuck you to all of them and stop going to anything in the city, ever. If you are so fucking selfish that ONE GOD DAMN TIME you won’t come to my house then fuck all of you fucking fucks. saljid;ljksdfljk;sdflj;kdsfljk;
Damn me and my unrealistic expectations. I need to stop looking at someone and saying, “I want you to do ‘x'” when I know they only signed up for ‘y’. *sigh*
I keep having nightmares about showing up on the first day of school without a syllabus. I feel so woefully unprepared for my whole life right now.
I have procrastinated the shit out of about a dozen things right now and I don’t know why. Normally I would be unpacked already, even with my busy schedule. I can’t seem to force myself to do it. I don’t know where the block is coming from. I haven’t sat down and made a budget. I haven’t started looking for a contractor. I haven’t dealt with my car. Just the thought of what I need to do makes me want to break down in tears.
I need to find some vicodin before my next tat appointment. Uhm… anyone?
Is it unreasonable for me to hide in my room and cry all day just out of anxiety and frustration? I don’t want to do all the things I need to do. I don’t want to think about having do deal with all of the people I have to deal with. I’m really tired of thinking about the people. Why can’t I just declare that I don’t like someone and not deal with them? Oh yeah. Social groups don’t work that way. *sigh*
me too.
Wanna come hide in a dark room with me? I have ice cream.
um, yes. 🙂
wanna go out when i get back?
I’m cancelling all the group events that I possibly can in the next few weeks, so all of the sudden I have some time.
me too!
hey, some us time!
let’s hang out and be girly and fun.
Give me a call when you are back. That is sounding really good.
i shall!
yay! it’ll be nice to hang out with you.
People are dumb.
You know it sounds like overload. I get like that, too many things to do so I’ve no idea where to start. So far it seems the best place to start when I get that way is with the physical shit, cleaning the room, putting away clothes, that kinda clears my head. After that I can make a list of things needs to be done and pick from that when I feel like it.
And I need to make sure there are fun things thrown in the works otherwise life is all boring like.
*SMOOSH*
Oh man, I am so with you on the City-centered people thing. It’s always “let’s go to this place” or “we’re going to be hanging out at that place” and it’s like, I realize I live kind of far away but at least I live near easy public transit, whereas all your crap requires transfers or just plain driving because it is in the middle of nowhere in SF (transit-wise).
Honestly, the Fun Timezz are usually worth it, but it’s hard to justify things when every single party is in, like, the Presidio and they’re scheduled at times when tunnel and bridge traffic are craptacular.
so um yes I agree with your statement a lot
If it makes you feel better, I’m convinced that San Francisco doesn’t like me. Every time I go up there, I get stuck craptacular traffic, or spend an hour trying to find a parking spot. There’s some cool stuff up there, but usually it isn’t worth it to me.
“Why can’t I just declare that I don’t like someone and not deal with them? Oh yeah. Social groups don’t work that way. *sigh*”
Congrats on the new tat, wonderfully sensitive and yummy, I CRAVE new ink. *sigh*
ANYWAYS, yes sweety, sometimes social groups MUST work this way. That’s why we all act like grown ups and expect others to do the same. There are DEFINATELY people in my extended social networks that I don’t like and most have been politely told to leave me alone.
I hope this issue has gotten easier. I understand about closing the door and crying. In fact, I’ve been doing a lot of it myself.
*love to you*