Category Archives: travel planning

Ok, it’s a plan.

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We leave here in 6 days. (Less than that because our flight is early.) Luckily the airport here is tiny so for a 10:55am flight I think we should arrive by 9. It’s less than a 20 minute drive so we’ll be out of here at 8:30. Not bad at all. It’ll be about 22.5 hours of travel door to door. And I get to drive on the far side after installing a car seat. Festive!

Maybe. We’ll see. Emailed buddies to ask for help with the car seat. We’ll see if they agree.

We’ll see. That’s kind of my life mantra right now. How will things work out? We’ll see!

5.75 days until we leave. We all feel so sick. This is going to be… something. Ugh. I feel like a horrible person for getting on a plane within a week of feeling this bad but I don’t see what our other option is. We won’t have a place to sleep if we just stay here until we feel better. Changing the flights would be horrifically expensive. We will wear masks.

And wash hands. And use hand sanitizer. The world is a horrible germ infested place.

As bad as I feel about all the things I haven’t gotten done yet… we are getting an absolute ton done.

And the kids agreed to the reading/exercise challenge for the summer. And they like the idea of planning, doing, and reflecting as their writing.

Ok. I’ve got a few months planned. Now just do the things.

Of course I will need to reflect later.

Can you tell I am absolutely simmering with anxiety? Next on the agenda: order some pot to be delivered to my friend in Portland.

Countdown already.

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142 days until we will come back and do the beginnings of setting up house and paperwork and all that fuss.

The road trip was 167 days and we were so done with that. To the best of my knowledge we will only be separated from Noah for a 3 week stretch and a 4 day stretch. So 25 days alone with the kids in that 142 days. That’s not so bad.

Looks like the former owners are not up for the fuss of renting temporarily from us. They have a lot going on and that makes a lot of sense. They want 8-10 months in one rental without more issues. I totally understand.

That means that we will try to have our stuff shipped directly to the UK from California because we will take possession of the keys (our solicitor will at least) and when we have to come to the UK to handle paperwork in October we will spend a month starting to set up house. I won’t cry about this. (Really 3.5 weeks.)

207 days until we get to move into our house permanently and we won’t be traveling for quite some time.

We will get to go see Pam and her family in Taiwan for a month at the end of traveling there.

So many things keep changing. I feel like keeping track of the plan is hard. That’s because the plan keeps changing.

Luckily, when we go to Taiwan we will only need to bring the bare minimum of stuff we need for a month in warm weather. Golly that sounds so restful and light.

The plan has changed a lot as we have had to look at the realities of dealing with laws and visas and processes we don’t control. I’m a bit sad that we aren’t going to be traveling for the 18-24ish months I had hoped for.

I AM NOT THE TINIEST BIT SAD MY CHILDREN WILL BE ENTERING SCHOOL A LITTLE EARLIER THAN PLANNED.

I mean, things have gone ok for the past couple of weeks. And we have set up a summer full of Outschool classes that will mean I don’t feel like I need to do almost anything for their academics for a solid two months. I won’t be on vacation but I will have a reduced load. Ahhhhhh.

They have a bunch of classes set up in Minecraft where they will be doing a variety of learning activities through the game (it’s actually incredibly well done, we have tried such classes before and they learn a lot) as well as classes on healthy boundaries in relationships, being savvy consumers and ad aware, how to socialize with new people (kiddo said he really wanted this class–ok), and cyber safety. The kids will keep up with their Duolingo too because they like it and that’s on the list of chores they earn money for and they really like that part.

Middle Child never has more than one class scheduled in a day and Eldest Child only has two classes scheduled on a day for a couple of the weeks. I told them that I want them writing notes for the classes as their academic writing for the summer. What do you plan to do, then after the class write up how it went, what you changed, and what you think you might like to change in the future. Then get up and try again with the next day.

Plan, do, reflect.

And they have unlimited time on their kindles so they will hopefully go through a lot of books. I bet I could do some sort of reading challenge to encourage them to each be reading more. (EC doesn’t really need the push, but MC might benefit. He’s a fairly standard little boy–he’d much rather be doing than reading.)

MC will be receiving a pedometer watch when we get to Portland. It’s already arrived.

I think our summer challenges will be: whoever has the highest step count for the week gets to pick a family movie over the weekend. And for reading…. maybe for every 10 books you read I will add… £20 to your start of room budget? (I was going to give each kid £500 to start with for furnishing their rooms.)

We’ll talk about it at lunch.

Illness and packing and life oh my.

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This is a sick house. Which means so much laundry I am losing my marbles. The tiny washing machine can wash a twin sheet + a twin comforter cover or a twin sheet + 2 towels. Or about a day of everyone’s clothing at a time. This means I am doing 2-3 loads every day right now. Each load takes about 5 hours. But when folks are having to wash bedding nearly every day + going through a week of bottoms in a day… it adds up fast.

I am trying to feel gratitude that my kids got sick like this with over a week to go before we left. Now we are at 6 days to go until we fly and I am biting my nails with worry. Oh, and I’m on day 28 of my cycle. Cheers. Just waiting until my malaise turns into bleeding. Just my luck that is when I will get my turn to start vomiting with terrible diarrhea at the same time. Two thumbs up, would bitch about again.

My kids are trying to maintain a positive attitude, but feeling like this sucks. We haven’t had a proper fall-like-dominoes illness in a very long time so I guess we were due. I think one way or another we are traveling with breathing masks on so we don’t infect other people. Ugh. ALL THE HAND SANITIZER (in addition to washing our hands hourly). I am hoping Her Sweetness misses the worst of it. But I ordered carpet cleaner from Tesco because she had a diaper leak because she’s not in a perfect place right now in terms of her functions. I think this is her first poop diaper leak… maybe ever? My older kids had them but she’s been so normal and regulated it just hasn’t been an issue. Illness sucks.

I caught up on ancient emails from my inbox. I’m down to 10 emails and the oldest one is from May. Huzzah! I feel embarrassed about how far behind I get, but that’s life.

I am so glad I mostly packed stuff up already. I feel like a wound down clock. I’m still ticking but its coming slower and slower. Being sick sucks. I don’t have a fever, but I’m weary and depleted. At this moment our household stuff bag is around 40 lbs (a little bit more will go in here, like the laundry basket) and I think it will absolutely max out at 45 lbs. Maybe even more like 42 lbs. My personal checked bag is 33 lbs and I only have a little left, I think it will be around 35/36 lbs. Noah’s bag is sitting at 33ish lbs too. Eldest Child’s bag is about 25 lbs. Middle Child’s first carry on bag is under 20 lbs. Her Sweetness’ carry on suitcase is under 20 lbs. Noah’s backpack is greatly reduced in weight/objects but I haven’t checked it yet. I suspect it is going to be in the 15 lb range. My back pack is still going to be annoyingly close to 20 lbs (I have all the kid electronics). Middle Child’s rolling backpack is practically empty, it weighs under 5 lbs. Eldest Child is just carrying a purse onto the plane. I am shoving my purse in Middle Child’s backpack for the sake of not carrying anything more than necessary in my hands. And we have a stuffed diaper bag.

THAT’S SO MUCH LESS STUFF. Thank you for the loan of your garage, Jenny. This will be so much easier. Also: we will have room to get some stuff in the States where prices are lower. Yayyyyy. Such as: the thigh seam in my long johns gave up on me last week. I have been wearing them for like three years almost constantly. We picked up some Keen walking/waterproof sandals through the REI sale because walking in Bangkok in monsoon season is going to be festive. (My leather sandals hurt like a motherfucker in the wet.) I should probably leave them here to wear on the handful of days when they will work out. Ok, maybe I’m going to find another backpack worth of stuff to leave. I am trying as hard as I can go lighten the load. Every ounce counts, yo. 3.5 months of maxing out the weight limits has gotten stressful. Now I will KNOW that I don’t have to spend time frantically crying trying to rearrange where everything goes. I have space. I have 10-20 lbs of space left in a bunch of bags. That’s so easy!

I am happy that I have a waterproof heavier coat, and a warm baby-wearing coat in storage for when we come back. We have a coat that will probably be inherited by Middle Child by then in terms of size. Noah has a mid-weight coat that is not at all good for rain.

Eldest Child, Her Sweetness and I already have lightweight rain coats that are coming with us to monsoon season.

I think we need to acquire: a proper set of rain gear for Noah and Middle Child that is lightweight for the heat. Noah could use a jacket that is a bit heavier that will keep rain off him, but Inverness rarely drops below freezing so he isn’t going to need a super heavy coat almost ever. He’s just not the sort. We will need a slightly heavier water proof coat for Eldest Child for when she comes back. Long johns for everyone except for Her Sweetness? Luckily we have gotten/will get so many more hand me downs from our little cousin that Her Sweetness will mostly be set. I don’t think that will remain an option long term because my children are huge and Jenny’s children are fairly petite. But she hasn’t quite passed up the little cousin yet.

I might look for a pair of serious rain boots in Portland. I suspect my children should wait and get them after we see what size they are come next winter here. When I can talk Noah into wearing shoes at all it is a victory so he will probably not get real boots for walking in the rain. He just likes to leave me things to worry about. He’s kind like that.

I am sorta hoping that buying things off season means I’ll find some deals. *Cross fingers*

A bit less than 7 months until we move into our next forever home. Will this one actually last forever? I don’t know. Jenny is already talking about moving away for retirement. Maybe I’ll have to follow her again. But this is going to be decades of peace and security.

I’m tired. I’m going to go lay down again.

 

Coming to California

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I have already scheduled appointments with: dentist for Noah and me, chiropractor, haircuts for all four of us, and pediatrician for all three kids. I have emailed and am waiting for responses from the pediatric dentist.

I have requested medical records from everybody and I’ll be picking them up all over the bay.

Check all the boxes.

I need to message massage therapist too, but I’m waiting until some other stuff falls into place first.

We need to find out what day we need to go to San Francisco to start the visa application process. Apparently we must do it inside our home country and that means we have to do it in August. Then we will bebop over to the UK in between Bangkok and Taipei to process documents. We won’t land in our permanent home until January.

Things shift, yo.

Seems wise to do all the basic maintenance stuff in the US with our old providers so that we have a runway of not needing any services for a while as we figure out a GP and all the other providers here.

And more logistics are incoming. Woof.

Quiet week

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I have been withdrawing a fair bit this week. Noah had the kids for 7 hours on Tuesday. He took the kids down to the shop for necessary stuff on Wednesday and was gone close to 2 hours. I stayed up late last night watching Outlander because I wanted space away from other people’s bodies.

I think it is funny that a cumulative 10.5ish hours of not interacting in a week feels like oh my god I am rejecting everyone and being awful.

Well I’m going out on Sunday for about 5 hours too.

That means that this week I will have less time off from my kids than I used to get when we had a steady babysitter. And I feel like I am being horribly extravagant and selfish.

I need this. I need this a lot. I’m feeling guilty that I’m ignoring everyone so much… but I literally haven’t had this much time off in a week in over a year. It’s a need not a want and I wish I weren’t beating myself up internally for taking the time.

I can’t take so much time off mid-week every week because… Noah needs protected work time. But I should probably be taking a bunch of weekend time off every weekend until we go to Portland. That’s going to be a rough three week stretch alone if I don’t do something to put some spoons back in my drawer.

Coming together.

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Someone I used to follow on Twitter was quite scathing about people unpacking in rented digs. She feels people should just live out of the suitcase and not unpack because that is what you do to be childish and play house.

We are unpacked *throw confetti all over my childish display*.

I love settling in. Figuring out where things fit and will go. I have a bit more sorting to do and Noah’s stuff isn’t here yet, but I’m well on my way. I look at the pile of books and think, “Ah… I don’t think more 1/5 of you are leaving the country. Ahhhhh.” But we get to read and enjoy them now! It’s a nice level of pressure.

The kitchen is coming along. The host of the apartment asked for feedback on things that make it better to stay here. I asked for wash cloths, an extra frying pan (used it for breakfast), a tea pot, milk jug and sugar bowl, an additional bin for the kitchen since the building has a spot outside for compost, a mat for in front of the kitchen sink (we had a slip and fall yesterday), and more door stops (the doors forcefully swing closed and that’s gonna hurt Her Sweetness).

I may look for a small metal shelving unit for the closet so that we don’t have to have everything on the floor. That gets old real fast. I’m not going to ask her to pay for that, though.

I felt like I was hitting a fever pitch of anxiety yesterday. I probably *should* have taken a quarter of an Ativan.

Looks like I may be stuck calling taxis every time I need one because I can’t get an app to work from the US store. I can’t get into the UK store without a UK billing address. Oh the things I learn about from travel. Well, I found one that I can book from but they won’t store my credit card because I’m gaijin. Ok. I can cope. I will pay in cash/coins because that’s easy enough.

Speaking of which, I need to spend some time staring at the coins because I can’t pay fast yet. I feel like a little kid again.

I desperately need some rest days where I don’t have to go anywhere and I don’t have to be on my best behavior. That day is not today. Off to do some shopping. (It’s groceries and nappies and stuff like that. I’m not having great fun or anything.) I have done a lot of cleaning up the apartment today. It’s a day of Getting Stuff Done. Which is why my stomach burns and every muscle hurts.

NOT FAIR

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I just looked more closely at the baggage allowances for the airline we are taking out of this country. Because Noah’s destination is the US he is allowed TWO CHECKED BAGS THAT EACH GET TO WEIGH 50 LBS.

Oh fuck life.

H’okay. What can we live without for a week or so as he brings it with him to the US and then back across the damn pond to Scotland?

Sorry Noah. You get to carry a lot of shit you won’t use. I assume you won’t even open the second bag.

Fuck nursing

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Ok. The minute I get to Scotland where I will no longer feel as bad about baby girl screaming I am night weaning. I. Cannot. Do. This. 10, 11, 12, 1, 3:30, 4:30 and 5:30 wake ups to nurse are not. fucking. ok. Hell, I turned her down the last two times. If my down stairs neighbor objects I don’t fucking care. I barely get back to sleep and she is waking me up screaming in my face or kicking me in my face.

I am so fucking enraged.

Why don’t you act niiiiiiiiiicer to everyone. BECAUSE FUCK YOU. THAT’S FUCKING WHY.

I am up to over 3 years of my life lost to this bullshit. My pain levels are back up to a 6/7. I hurt. I am exhausted.

But be more giving!

Be kinder!

Be more gentle!

No. I have nothing to give. Today I am going to sit still until I go do everyone’s fucking laundry then I will sit still again; I ain’t taking care of any other shit. The big kids can get away from me.

I can’t deal. I can’t be patient. I feel like dog shit.

And I think I am getting sick based on the volume of crap coming out of my nose.

I have already started working on packing. The airline we are flying to leave here has much tighter restrictions than the one we used coming here. We can’t check as many bags. We can’t have as many carry ons. So I am already working hard to pack and figure out what to get rid of. Luckily all three of my children have grown so maybe their bags will get lighter and I can shove a bunch of stuff into their bags. It just occurred to me that the pants that EC has outgrown might fit MC and I should have him try after I do the laundry. That would be hecka smart. He’s outgrown so much in the past few months. He looks much thinner than he did when we arrived in Japan. He was deliciously pudgy in Hawaii and now he’s stretched again.

Growing like consciously planted invasives.

We each get one checked bag and one carry on. The “personal item” can’t be bigger than a purse. Fuck. We arrived here with 6 checked bags and 8 carry ons. I will probably pay to check one extra bag. I don’t want to but I might need to. Noah will be carrying more crap to Minneapolis and then Scotland than is strictly necessary for him to have and I don’t care. He is carrying the maximum weight limit for his bags, not what he needs. I get to carry the absolute maximum when I travel by myself with three kids. Nothing is fair. Nothing is easy. He will cope just bloody fine.

I will be moving very very slowly and using a lot of trollies.

I get to have three 50.5 lb bags that we check, four 22 lb bags that I *think* all need to be carried on, and the stroller. I suspect we will all be wearing extra layers of clothing that we don’t really need to wear and we will take them off and put them in a grocery bag on the damn plane. Ha. Tell me I can’t have an extra carry on, will you? I’ll get around that nonsense.

I am already packing all the grown up clothes we won’t wear in the next week. I will just do laundry slightly more often, that’s not a problem. I just about flipped out in Hawaii trying to pack because getting it all done in the last few days when we wanted to be “having fun” sucked. I can’t do that again.

I’m hoping ECs knee heals fully so we can explore in the last few days we are here. That means everything else needs to be ready to go.

The biggest suitcase currently weighs 36 lbs with the high chair inside it and most of the big stuff I would want to get packed in there. That’s promising. I will find more clothes to shove in the nooks and crannies. The kids are getting rid of clothes/books that already total like 8 lbs so far; more will have to be culled. Several of the baby toys are ready to go but they need to be washed first. I have used up many bottles of bathroom stuff so the volume is greatly reduced. I am ditching all of the medications that will expire in the next three months because I will need to replace it soon anyway. I am considering combining the very different looking kinds of vitamins into one bottle so I have less to carry.

I will get us there.

Frankly, this will be easier anyway. I have been trying to reduce weight and volume. This is an excellent spur to truly get that shit done.

I may decide that it is better to ship gifts to the US from Japan instead of sending them in Noah’s bag for him to ship from Minneapolis. That may be important. This is why I am starting to pack nine days in advance this time.

Now it is eight days in advance. I am going to do laundry today and I am going to put all of our extra cooking stuff in bags. We aren’t using all of it here. We will be more likely to use it in Scotland. I think the kitchen alone in Inverness is bigger than our entire apartment here. Then there is a living room bigger than the second apartment here. Then there are multiple bedrooms.

Space sounds so nice right now.

And the house in Portland! It will feel FUCKING PALATIAL! (It’s a fairly small house. It’s about comparison.) The first thing I will need to buy there is a baby gate so that baby girl does not fall down the stairs into the basement. According to truly the house is 892 sq ft. So it is almost as big as the house in Fremont minus the third bedroom and expanded bathroom. Awesome. It’s really funny that we started this journey partially because the house wasn’t going to be big enough for the long run. (None of these temporary lodgings are for the long run. But my kids all want to have their own bedrooms by the time they hit high school. Ok.)

The refrigerator in Bangkok will be three times the size of this one. There are many more kitchen cabinets. The counter space still isn’t extravagant, but at least they have a rice cooker (up on a shelf so it doesn’t dominate the counter), a convection oven, and at least twice the prep space as we have here. I will make it work. We have a separate living room there. The kid room is much smaller and they will just have to deal. We will be in Bangkok for three months. The entire booking will only cost $3,138.

Portland for 2.5 months is $6,731. Inverness for two months is $5,850. Fukuoka for three weeks: $2,820. Thank goodness for Bangkok bringing the average down. And Japan is by far the smallest, most difficult to live in space. I suspect folks will be more friendly to us every where else too.

Not that everyone in Japan has been unfriendly–that’s not true at all. But this is not a multiple cultures promoting place. I miss seeing a sea of different kinds of faces. Kuala Lumpur was incredible for that. But their government is persecuting LGBTQ+ folk. Can’t go back.

I want to go to South or Central America. Asia has turned out to be way better than I imagined; pero yo quiero hablar español.

Pienso en español. No todo, claro, pero mucho.

Noah really is heading towards New Zealand in his heart. Turns out he has cousins there (through the queer/trans branch!!) and getting work visas would be a cinch. He has already been approached by a tech company that would be happy to sponsor him while he keeps his current job for US dollars so he can start the immigration process. Their goal would be for him to ultimately found some sort of company there.

He’s thinking a code school. I can’t think of a better thing for him to do with his personal goal of helping to “build the railroad”. He wants to help people learn. He wants to help people get into the ability to work with computers. Opening a code school in semi-rural New Zealand sounds pretty fucking rad towards that goal.

But maybe it would work in South America too? Let’s go find out.

If we move to New Zealand I want to learn Maori. There is an interesting cross cultural psychology program at one of the universities that requires knowing Maori. Hmmmm.

But first… I need to fucking sleep. *glare at baby who is once again nursing*

fuck my life.

Today I booked…

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  • waxing
  • hotel in SF between cruise and Hawaii
  • car for beginning of Hawaii
  • car for end of Hawaii
  • emailed folks about the van hand off and transportation needs in SF
  • We want the Kuko line in Fukuoka. It will take ~22 minutes from the airport to our apartment. When we get to our stop, it’s a 5 minute walk. Awesome
  • I don’t think we’ll rent a car in Japan: https://yokanavi.com/en/transportation-facilities/
  • Holy crap! Japanese law says that babies don’t need to be in car seats while driving if you are a)in a taxi (logical) or b) nursing or changing a diaper!!! Whoa

 

I literally can’t look at us leaving Japan today. I can’t. My brain says it will melt. We are booked through April 22nd. Hopefully I can handle dealing with that step tomorrow because it would be super nice to have all of this done this week.

I’m feeling quite pleased with my progress. This is happening.

I still need to get to:

  • plane from Japan to Minneapolis for Noah
  • hotel in Minneapolis for Noah
  • plane from Japan to Scotland for me and kids
  • where are we staying first in Scotland? I assume Inverness but I should schedule a chat with Jenny
  • plane from Minneapolis to Scotland for Noah

Phone calls I need to make this week.

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If I give myself a week to make these phone calls I might get them all done today. If I planned them all for today I might get none of them done.

Good grief.

  • AAA
  • Wyndham
  • Capital One
  • Jenny

We need international driving licenses and for everything else to have the new address. We are almost done. We need to go visit our banks this week. Once the rain fully stops I am going to put stuff out on the driveway again. Looks like Tuesday afternoon.

I have a bunch of travel arrangements to make. I have us getting to Hawaii. I have an apartment for Hawaii and a different apartment in Japan. I don’t know how we are getting from Hawaii to Japan. I don’t know how we are getting from airports to places. I need to do some research. Eeep.

We are going to be in Hawaii for 4 weeks. I think we will only have a car for 1 week. And it’ll be half a week at the beginning and half a week at the end. There is a grocery store as far from the house as our local grocery store is from this house–basically, that’s no trouble.

Lots of time spent booking arrangements in my week. I need to book:

  • waxing before we go because I am vain
  • hotel for one night between cruise and Hawaii
  • transportation between cruise and Hawaii
  • car for beginning of Hawaii
  • car for end of Hawaii
  • plane to Japan
  • how are we getting from airport to house in Japan
  • travel in Japan? (look at trains, look at rental cars–with 5 bodies trains might be $$$$$)
  • plane from Japan to Minneapolis for Noah
  • hotel in Minneapolis for Noah
  • plane from Japan to Scotland for me and kids
  • where are we staying first in Scotland? I assume Inverness but I should schedule a chat with Jenny
  • plane from Minneapolis to Scotland for Noah

That’s probably plenty of planning. That gets me up through May. That’s a 3 month window. And we’ll be in Scotland May/June/July except for weekend trips. I will probably book those weekend trips from Hawaii.

Phew. That’s a thing or three.

20 days. That feels real.

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Eldest Child is back from her adventures. We had a long chat about courtesy and checking in and responsibility. Not because she did badly! Because she did pretty well for a first run but we need some tweaks. Everyone was happy about how it turned out.

Today I get to notarize some paperwork to finalize our forwarding address. Then the construction guys are coming back to deal with the front door; that has been an adventure in fuss. They have failed to find a lock that fits the door after a month of trying. Today they are ripping out this door and replacing it with a door that has a lock available in the store the same day.

I see my chiropractor and massage therapist. That will be good.

Late this afternoon a medical appointment for a kid. Woo. One of the very last ones. I think we only have three medical appointments left.

I have 9 more medical appointments before I go. I finally have an appointment for an Ehlers Danlos Screening. That took jumping up and down and screaming. Why do I want to find out one way or the other? Because it impacts how I should be exercising.

Noah has probably one more Japanese class. Things are winding down. Kids are done at martial arts.

I am at a fussy, fiddly, slow part of packing. Like, I’m playing with which things should go in which suitcase and I’m writing lists of what is in a bag so we can find things later. We have three pieces of furniture that we want to keep until the last day.

I have exactly one friend date scheduled, a lunch. Otherwise, I’m here. If people will miss me they know how to find me before I leave. I can’t chase people down. I’m conserving energy before my next big launch. 20 days means I need to be resting.

Although… I am looking forward to resting as we go. Boat. Island. That sounds like rest to me. I’m bringing books (that will be shed as we go) and art supplies (that will be used up and not replaced any time soon). Between toiletries, art supplies, and books I am easily bringing 40 lbs of crap I will shed in the first month or two. It will be really nice when the weight goes down. I want to read these books before I pass them on. Maybe I’ll get a bunch of it done before we leave. I have 20 days.

*One* of the bags of art supplies is 8 lbs by itself. And there is another 3 lbs bag. And then there are Noah’s art supplies in his bag. And the stuff in the diaper bag and in each of the kid backpacks. And my purse. I think that when I add paper at the very end… it’ll be a solid 20 lbs of art shit. When did we become artists? Like, that’s a huge theme for our family. That’s a thing we do. I’m not sure how this became my life.

I should weigh all the books by themselves before we leave just to amuse myself. Thank goodness the books will be a load that gets lighter as we go. None of the books we are bringing are books we want to hold on to. We will leave them in airports and on boats and anywhere we see a lending library. It’s easy to share books. Well… when you are getting rid of just of just a few curated books it’s easy to share.

Ok. We have a little bit more of a plan. For your information:

February: leave the house on the 18th. All of our stuff will either be on the driveway or in the pile for trash. We stay with friends for 3 days then get on a boat for 10 days. I am looking forward to a 10 day cruise to Mexico. I feel like a snot. I feel spoiled. I feel like this is ridiculous and I am so happy I get to do this.

March: Hawaii.

April: Japan

May: Noah will go to Minneapolis alone while the kids and I go to Scotland. Noah will join us after a week or so.

June: Mostly Scotland but trips to England and the Netherlands for conferences.

July: Mostly Scotland until we come back to the US at the end.

August: Noah needs to go to Nashville. The rest of August we will be in Oregon, I think. Middle Child reaaaaaally wants to hang out with Grandpa for his 9th birthday so we will make that happen.

September: Thailand

October: Thailand

November: Thailand/ Noah needs to go back to Nashville. I don’t think the kids and I will come to the US.

December: Taiwan with Pam?

That’s what I know about 2019 right now.

And I leave for it in 20 days. Oh my.

home. briefly.

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We will be in our house for approximately 28 hours. In that time I am going to unpack and put things away, repack, take two baths, get a massage, make three meals, and sleep. I’m not sure there is time for much else.

Ok. Hurry up, Krissy. Time is passing.

This could be fun. Or terrifying.

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Hey, know how I have that habit of throwing myself into situations with strangers? Ha. Uhhhh yeah. So I’ve been throwing most of my hand spoons into forums for a while here. I’m at a sort of pause point in therapy and there’s some stuff I’m working through that I don’t feel comfortable writing about here. So I’ve been writing in a private forum there and getting to know folks.

We are going on an adventure together. Looks like in the first weekend of November I’ll be running off to Colorado.

So Malaysia Oct 15-30. Dad is visiting Nov 1-2. I’m flying out on the 2nd to go to Colorado to see these fascinating folks.

I’m just kind of flabbergasted at my life right now. I’m trying to be nice in the limbo period leading up to the excitement.

My life is an awesome life. I am blessed beyond on all possibility of deserving it. But I get it anyway. Nyah.

Adventure beckons

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Looks like we will be adding another international trip before we sell the house. Folks in Malaysia really want to hear Noah talk. We could send him on his own… but no. Hell no. This sounds awesome. I have literally never considered Kuala Lumpur but now I am!

I can’t live there. They execute people for pot.

But cool to visit! This will be my first trip to Asia and my first time in a predominantly Muslim country.

Woo!

Must sit still… so packing.

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Baby is nursing. I have tea to drink. I always have chores I can do but I’m not yet behind on the day. So I’ll babble at myself.

Sarah is at a new job so her density of “wow” and “oh” is really high on IM so I feel a little guilty asking her to switch her brain to thinking about my stuff 98,328 times in a day. Maybe if I put it here so she can come read it when she has a few moments then I can feel less guilty. Cause there is no chance I will not tell Sarah all of this. *cough*

There are periods of time where I have squiggly feelings and I don’t talk to Sarah much. Those times suck. I feel like she is my true externalized brain and this computer is just the medium by which I share my meat-matter with her. Why? Because I feel more like I exist when whatever I am doing is worthy of Sarah’s attention.

And shit dude she’s sending me entries from my archive with a very subtle “Take your own damn advice” message. I love Sarah. (Ok her actual words were “Your advice is currently relevant to my job” but it is also timely with my parenting struggles so I choose to see a double meaning there. This is how things work with Sarah. She says things and I extrapolate. She has been my inside voice so long that mostly I extrapolate in positive ways. That’s the best part of having a Sarah-inside-voice. She’s just…not harsh.)

Anyway. Packing.

I have been reading a lot of travel bloggers. It’s neat how everyone has their own distinctive personality. I know that’s true of all these humans… but still. Very different philosophies about what travel means.

The folks who travel with 6 different gaming consoles. Sure. Why not. Folks who bring their family of 7 with 5 serious backpacks and 2 small daypacks. Sure. Why not. Folks who swear that “nice clothes” would be stupid anyway so why bring anything but one pair of jeans and two tank tops. Good for y’all.

On the road trip I brought 9 days of clothes. That was stupid. That was waaaaaaaaay the fuck too much. But the folks who say 3 days of clothes… I don’t want to do laundry that often. 5, 6, or 7. One of those is probably going to be our sweet spot. And we are bringing one nicer set of clothes because we love us some fancy restaurants. Gaming consoles: zero.

I went to Babies R Us yesterday (I DIDN’T BUY ANYTHING) to browse what is going fast and cheap. They are selling Kindle Fires for $25 each. At that price… it’s probably worth doing for books for the kids. I figured I’d come home and talk to Noah and if they are still there in a few days… it’s meant to be. Also they had a stroller that can fold down to small enough to fit in an airline overhead bin (thus, also easily fit on a bus) with one hand. I could easily break down the stroller while holding the baby in the other hand it was so light. While being so light and compact the wheels work better than our current free one and the seat is better and still has a safety bar (which our current sidewalk-special does not and it worries me). But it’s $100 after being 40% off.

Hm. I’ve never had a kid who liked strollers so based on that metric it is stupid beyond belief to buy it. On the other hand… this kid did 5 miles in the sidewalk-special yesterday and only complained for a few minutes and mostly she was thrilled.

Strollers make my wrists and elbows hurt more but my back hurt less. I’m at the point where getting up is a problem because my back hurts so much. (I need to stop moving the bigger boxes… it’s just stupid.) It’s a balancing act.

I am planning to walk to the store today. I will give it a couple more walks with the sidewalk-special. If she is still really enjoying the stroller… I don’t know. Strollers bug the shit out of me. I hate them. I hate using them in crowds of any size. But goddess almighty my back hurts. It hurts so much I want to cry just shifting around in my chair.

A $100 tool to help me be in less pain is not a waste of money. But if I won’t actually use it… anything is a waste of money.

Sigh.

ok. Must go have a day.

 

Moving prep progress

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Have appointment on Wednesday for long-term care insurance information. It’ll be relevant for travel stuff.

Already checked up on international medical coverage.

Have address for registering private school for home schooling/residency purposes.

Part way through spreadsheet of important data for country hopping.

I think I’m somewhere between 10% & 20% done with moving stuff out of the house. It already feels lighter.

The back of the van is full and ready for a drop off again. I think I’m about 15 minutes away from being ready for another book drop off.

I need to make another Craigslist ad for furniture. I have 6 more pieces I am about ready to move out. That’s a lot of stuff gone already for me to be able to get rid of this much furniture by now.

I keep thinking, “This house is too small because I couldn’t bear not having this baby. I make very odd choices.”

Otherwise… I was all settled in. But I wanted her so so so so badly. She’s attached to me this second. This is what I wanted. And I do feel happier than I have in a long time. I feel less like a walking around gaping wound. I needed her.

It’s not very Buddhist of me.

tracking exercise and baby

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Her sweetness is now three months old. She is smiling way more. I moved the six month clothes out because they are starting to get tight. (We really prefer baby clothing to be slightly baggy for ease of outfit changes.) She’s much more alert and awake. Older siblings are very actively involved with her. They both think she’s great.

According to Fitbit the past 28 days have seen an increase of 74% more miles over the previous 28 days. The fourth trimester is over! Time to move! Now that the fourth is officially over we have a baseline of walking approximately 3 miles a day.

Yes, yes Disneyland.

It was suggested to me that I look a ways out on the Metro line in DC. I found some apartments that seem way more reasonable in price but it’ll mean more walking. If we save about $5,000 over the course of three months on rent but have to walk about 2 miles a day round trip to the station… that’s not all bad. But means we will need to be seriously acclimated to 5+ miles/day in order to have fun and learn well in the museums.

The best day in the past four weeks was 5.5 miles. In that time 86 miles total.

Realistically in DC we will probably go out four days a week and hide at home three days a week cause we are tired. We are like that. I don’t know that we will actually land in the apartment I liked the best today but if I plan around that just a little to mess with math that’s ok. The grocery store is about 3 miles roundtrip. It’s close to the Metro Station. That means that even if we stayed home three days a week…. assuming 5 miles of walking per day is wise. So 35/week and over four weeks that is 140 miles.

Given that I’m going to be doing this with a baby and we don’t use strollers and we are going to be grocery shopping on foot… I’m going to be doing that with 25-40 lbs on my body. Starting this winter.

Noah feels a lot more comfortable with his current fitness level than I do. I’m not ready for that.

Starting this winter. And I haven’t lived in snow since I was seven or eight.

It’ll be an adventure.

I’m getting rid of stuff in batches. Every time it feels shocking because I can get rid of a giant pile and not feel like I’m making a dent. Yet there is more breathing room at the same time. It’s confusing.

I had initially packed all of our fetish clothing. That’s so dumb. Naw. I’ll send it off into the world. Have fun little fetish outfits. Three more boxes to fill instead. That’s better.

How many boxes do I even want? That’s a big question right now…

Having a hard time with sympathy.

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I know I should feel bad for my cousin. She failed because she has a laundry list of mental health problems. She doesn’t work at all because she is not competent to show up and do things. She was fired from the job I put her through college for because she couldn’t god damn file alphabetically.

She called me 72 hours before the flight to tell me she didn’t have an ID so she couldn’t get on the plane. I wired her money. She got the money late Wednesday night. She then slept through Thursday. She went to the DMV in the last hour it was open on Friday before Christmas. She did get an ID. She walked out 15 minutes past closing time with an ID.

Then she texts me 1.5 hours before she is supposed to be at the airport and says, “Can you change my flight so I can come at a later time because I can’t find anyone to take care of my dog.”

I told her that if she had planned in advance I could have helped her with finding dog care but changing the flights would be probably upwards of $400 and no… I’m not doing that for a $650 flight. When I sent you $200 for an ID this week. No.

So she isn’t coming. And now she’s sending me pity party texts about how upset she is about spending Christmas alone.

I spent almost a full year of my disposable income on this. So that she could choose not to fix any of the associated issues in a timely fashion.

But mental illness!

I think I need to not call her any more. Because this is so familiar. This is what dealing with my family is like. I’m not a person I’m an ATM who is supposed to solve all of their problems for them with money. Problems that could have been managed reasonably with just a little advance notice. Hell… I would have paid for boarding the dog if she had asked me in a timely fashion.

This is like my mom calling me 12 hours before her hysterectomy (that she knew about well in advance) and telling me that I have to give her $500 Right Now or she can’t have the surgery she needs.

I told my mom no.

Another expensive lesson: dealing with my family is just setting me up for heartache.

On the upside Christmas will probably be less stressful and dramatic this way. Being with Noah and the kids is lovely. I’m very lucky and grateful.

This is why I have more kids to have more family. It’s the only avenue available to me that will have the possibility of respectful relationships.

So no one worries

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I am heading off to hang out with a friend in about half an hour. When I get home we are going to start driving to SoCal. I am not bringing my computer. I may or may not use my phone for brief updates but I rarely enjoy the interface so probably not.

I’ll be back online by the 11th.

Love you all. Have a good week.

My children continue to be my favorite people.

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I mentioned to my kids yesterday that I had mentally observed that our Disneyland trip was scheduled for when I am 35 weeks pregnant. The first thing my kid said was, “Wow mom that’s really late in the pregnancy. I think we should cancel.”

Then the other kid suggested, “Would it be possible to move it up and go earlier? It’s really not wise to go at the very end.”

My kids are so awesome and wonderful and nice to me.

So I called DVC (the Disney time share company) and explained my situation. Of course they were happy to find a way to get us in early. In fact… we are going in two weeks. The week between our anniversary and my birthday.

It’s a really good thing I hadn’t invited someone else and scheduled around their conflicts. I get to just… do what I want. That’s so much easier.

We are looking into what California missions we are going to visit on the trip. It’s 4th grade time… we need California history this year….

And we are debating between 2 and 3 days in the park leaning heavily towards 2. Because mostly we want to go rest and just be mellow together.

I love my family.