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I apparently like to post about the previous day. Still no icon.

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Wednesday, April 18: Ran for three miles. I got interrupted twice for conversations with neighbors, which makes me feel pretty connected and happy. 3.07 miles in 43:03. I was running slow and being social.

Breakfast: two breakfast burritos. No meat today. Bright orange eggs from chickens we met last weekend.

Snack: handful of pretzel chips

Lunch: ramen

Snack: 1.5 bananas (the kids didn’t finish theirs), a cup of strawberries, two tablespoons of peanut butter, and about 6 squares from a Dagoba chocolate bar

Dinner: mac’n’ cheese with corn. About a cup and a half?

Tuesday!

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Tuesday April 17: Walked to the park pulling the wagon (about 65 lbs). It's 3.4 miles round trip. At the park I did laps around the soccer field. I went 2.02 miles in 20:04 minutes. According to my phone that means it was 9:55 as my average speed. I hated the Garmin so I will never get precise about this sort of thing. This was the first time I have run two miles without walking at all. I'm fairly proud of that. I would like to be able to run for an hour without walking. I think that would be rather bad ass. It's not a serious goal yet. My next semi-serious goal is to be able to run three miles in 30 minutes without walking. I hope I can do that by June.

I backed way off on miles after the half marathon. I started over from scratch training for the marathon. I don't want to over train. I am not used to serious distance running. I think this is a better idea to prevent getting injured. It's not like I'm pushing myself that hard for speed. Ten minute miles are not that fast. I don't plan to try and get faster. This is a speed I can hopefully learn to carry for long distances. Fast is not the point. Fast wears me out. Fast uses different muscles and different strength. I need distance.

Yesterday was the best feeling running day I have had in a while. I think it is because I am getting closure in some ways that I need mentally. Life just goes on and it's time to let go of some stuff. I can only take care of the people in this house. That's my limit.

Breakfast: two delicious home made scones with devon cream, lemon curd, and strawberry jam. A little bit more than a full chicken and apple sausage. Tea with several tablespoons of sugar. 😛 and moo

Snack: a couple handfulls of trail mix (Shanna stole all the chocolate)

Lunch: about 1/2 a cup of pasta with two meatballs. I had just finished running and my body didn't want food.

Snack: five scones plain. See how this catches up with me?

Dinner: brown rice (about 3/4 of a cup), orange chicken (huge mound, like three servings), bok choy and carrots (about a cup), and pot stickers (8). I was hungry.

No dessert. Went to bed early. Exhausted.

I haven’t been tracking.

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I realized today that I want to track. I'm feeling weird about doing it. I keep forgetting that I am supposed to be doing this for me instead of anyone else.

I need a running icon. And a picture of me with short hair.

Monday, April 16: rest day

Breakfast: French toast, three slices of processed potato bread. Mmmmmm. Syrup, not a lot—maybe a tablespoon or two? Glass of milk, I think only 6 oz. Gummy vitamins.

Snack: oranges I only had a couple of slices.

Lunch: ramen

Skipped snack

Dinner: pasta (this really extra thick ridiculously long stuff I found at Cost Plus—it’s neat; whole wheat) about a cup? Partially home made partially jarred tomato sauce with about 1.5 lbs of grass fed beef (meatballs and some just loose in the sauce) I ate ~cup of vegetable matter and 3 meatballs. There were 15 meatballs from a pound of meat. A large green salad, around 2 cups. Maybe two tablespoons of Caesar dressing on the greens.

Second dinner: two soft chicken tacos on corn tortillas. They were fairly small. A handful of sweet potato fries with sauce. Two glasses of wine.

Dessert: half a cup of Americone dream

I'm trying to get to a place where I have a better understanding of how the food I eat affects my body. Stands to reason that I should keep track of what I'm eating for a while. I'm not "calorie counting" in the sense that I want to lose weight. From where I am this morning I could be ten pounds lighter (Easter candy happened right after I all but stopped running. Excellent.) just so my pants are more comfortable. I have recently gotten a lot smaller in the legs and bigger in the waist. It's interesting. My thighs generally rub a lot but they don't seem to any more. I've been wearing these same jeans for a while. They used to be tight in the thighs and loose in the waist. Now I have muffin top and the thighs are baggy. Bodies are weird.

I’m starting part 2

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I have decided that it is polite for consenting adults to give other consenting adults pseudonyms. If you have had an ongoing relationship with me where we traveled together, had sex, have spent a lot of time with me, or I worked with you now is the chance for you to name yourself. You can send me a private message on facebook, an sms, an email, whatever. Comments on this post are screened.  At no other time in our lives are you going to get to decide what I call you. Here's your chance. 🙂

so tired.

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12.89 miles in 2:49:04.  The average speed is officially 4.58 mph.  But I did the first ten miles in under two hours and I had to wait at 10 or so stoplights.

I practically crawled the last mile and a half.  My foot started feeling a bit funky and I had abdominal cramps.  I have run more than a marathon in the past seven days.  I'm going to sit very still now.

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This morning I woke up thinking about what I will say at a book reading.  It lead to me thinking a lot about Noah and my mom.  What would I do if Noah were more of a mixed bag?  It's not hyperbole to say that at this point in time Noah has given me the vast majority of good that is in my life.  He supports me.  He gives me endless freedom to amuse and entertain myself and the kids.  How could I be ungrateful?

My mom didn't see the abuse and I strongly suspect she felt similarly about my dad.  It's interesting to think about.

I'm supposed to be resting my wrists so that's all.  I'm lonely without typing.

Not feeling so cocky.

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I only ran five miles instead of six and I did it at the gym going 4 mph pretty much the entire time.  It is raining cats and dogs and it was pitch black when I left the house.  I started my period last night and my lower back aches something fierce.  I'm tired.  I feel really bad.  But I went.  That's what I've got to give today.

that was a nice long run.

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10.46 miles in 2:13. ave: 4.77 mph

 

for every other run in Fremont I have stayed on the flat side. but I live near the bottom of a noticeable hill (ok not Santa Cruz mts noticeable) but way the heck more than I have been doing. I maintained 4.99 mph as my average for the first 5 miles then I started getting tired.

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.

Love my shrink.

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My shrink told me I shouldn't try to give up pot right now.  She said there is no benefit right this minute.  Yes, it's bad for my lungs.  It is better in the long run to have a while longer of this and not beat my children.  I think she is god damn smart.

She also told me to stop trying to be 'not angry'.  It'll pass when the things that are a problem for me end.  I should focus on that end of things.  I'm not so good at this "patience" thing.