Tag Archives: happiness

If you try sometime

3 Replies

You just might find you get what you need.

What do I need?

I need to be loved and appreciated for all the various contradictions that make up me. I need to be encouraged to feel no shame for the thoughts, desires, and actions in my life. I need to be loved for my voracious and overwhelming appetites. I need to be allowed to go off and come back and have safety in knowing that there will be a place/person to come back to. I need to not be told that my behavior is ok when it is directed at someone else and not ok when it is directed at you. I need to be listened to and spoken to. I need to be allowed to make mistakes without being told that I am bad for them. I need hugs and kisses without expectation that I have to put out. I need to be asked to put out. I need for it to be understood that it hurts me deeply that I essentially don’t have a bio family, and sometimes I can’t listen to suggestions about how I should fix the situation–there isn’t an easy way to fix it and saying there is demeans me and how much I have struggled to come to terms with my family.

I … I need love. I need to be valued.

I need to thank God for giving me what I need. I am so very grateful for my life and the people in it. I think I am the luckiest girl ever. I have been found.

Spunk

2 Replies

I have been reviewing like crazy for my exam. Dude, I so know this stuff… although I know a lot more ancient stuff (a bunch of Greek plays, The Odyssey, Inanna than I will be asked for. Dude. I might actually know stuff!

Yeah, my ego is returning in full force. I am so going to kick ass. 20 hours and counting till I need to arrive for the exam. This will be a cake walk baby. 🙂

(I think I’m feeling so cocky because I have already reviewed 6/10 of the novels I want to review and I remember stuff better than I had thought!!)

The good, the bad, and the scheduling.

24 Replies

Bad first:

I had a conversation today that attacked my faith in humanity. Someone that I have liked expressed some opinions that go beyond me disliking them. My friends have opinions I dislike on a regular basis and I deal with that. However, someone believing that doctors and pharmacists should be allowed to not treat patients if they don’t want to I… it’s beyond dislike. Should teachers be able to say they don’t like a student and will not teach them? Should police officers only protect and serve people they like? The idea of people in service jobs only serving people they like/want to serve offends the very core of me. Does that mean that schools should not have been integrated? Should women still not be allowed to attend college or hold jobs of their own or…

I believe that this person is childish and immature and selfish and self-centered in ways that could be potentially harmful to other people. I’m glad I learned that before I developed any real affection for her because now I know that I don’t want to. I feel kind of sad that there are such people in my general circle though. 🙁

Ok, that was the bad bit of my day.

There were many good bits though. I found out that it isn’t “necessary” for me to go visit the most wonderful fairy I know next weekend because technically she doesn’t “need” my help. Instead, I get to go visit her because she is wonderful enough to want to see me and I get to spend time with one of the most amazing women I know. I think that deserves a big fat YAY!!!

I got a lovely massage from a dear man and I feel more grounded and centered and happy. Also sleepy. 🙂 I might actually sleep tonight!

I got to spend time with the new partner of a dear friend and it was awesome. She is smart and funny and interesting and not psycho and not a bitch and not a whiney dependent dipshit. I am so happy his taste has improved since me. 😉 Seriously though, I really need to spend more time with her while she is here because I think she is that rare kind of person that I will actually like *and* respect. 🙂 Another definate yay!

I’m really happy that I don’t feel as sad as I did last night.

Scheduling!!! What in the fuck is happening this weekend? I haven’t figured out what the freak I am doing and I know I am swimming in options so please help me out here! 🙂 If you don’t want to leave a comment send me an email. Thanks! 🙂