I am so angry right now. Fucking doctors. Fucking piece of shit doctors can suck big hairy balls. I AM SO MAD!!!!!!!
Tag Archives: health
*whine*
I’m having oral surgery today. I’m still in the process of fixing shoddy dental work done when I was a kid. I’ve been on antibiotics since yesterday. I feel like I was hit by a truck. My stomach hurts. My head hurts. I feel dizzy and disoriented. My neck muscles are super tight and painful. I just want to curl up into a ball and cry. Shanna’s not up for that option though. Man. This almost makes me wish I could use the tv as a babysitter. 😛
hm.
I made banana bread and brownies and those are both good. 🙂
I made jam and it didn’t set. Poopy. I think it’s cause the fruit was over-ripe. My reading says it is a common problem. That’s fine, we’ll use it on ice cream. 🙂
And Shanna was a bit shocked after the first shot and burst into tears after the second shot. She only cried for a couple of minutes and then has been fine all day. We are now in negotiation with the pediatrician as to which vaccines we will be doing next. Have I mentioned that I love my pediatrician? He’s an awesome guy. He’s trying really really hard to sell us on flu shots and he had some great statistics to back up his point of view. I’m going to do more research but it may be that we get flu shots this year due to some issues with H1N1 and pregnancy. We’ll see. We also need to decide about DTaP. That one… I have a lot of conflict about but it might make our schedule. MMR and Polio will both happen before our next overseas trip. This thinking about vaccine stuff is very anxious making.
She dropped percentiles on weight again. However she did gain half a pound which is upward progress and I’m happy about that. She is down to the 30% on weight. (21 lbs 4 oz) She is at the 81% on height (this is kind of neato). (31.5″) And head circumference has dropped a little but it’s still high. I can’t remember the exact number and I can’t find the piece of paper. 🙂
He was impressed with her vocabulary. 🙂 I am too so it’s awesome to be validated. 😀
I think that’s it for now.
(Icon because I just got out of the shower and I’m naked. 😛 )
busybusybusybusy
I have been very industrious this week. I have been working from when I get up till late in the evening. I’m exhausted. Of course there is more to do. Every so often I get into these cycles of freaking out about the fact that there is Always More To Do!!! Then I decide I don’t care and I ignore allmost of it for a while. I wish I could get to that part already but I can’t. The big thing left to do in the garage is dismantle the shelves that are attached to the walls and I’m afraid that is going to be difficult work because pieces of it are very heavy. Taylor is coming on Tuesday (!!!) so we can get started on figuring out the garage stuff. I’m terribly excited. Yes, I’m aware it will take multiple days. 🙂 But Taylor unlike certain other people I could name but won’t isn’t a flake and will actually follow through when he says he will do a project with me so I’m not stressing. 🙂
We’re going to have a playroom! And I’ve started a fund for a play kitchen. 😀 I think that the play kitchen money should come out of my personal entertainment/fun money because I want it so bad. 🙂 Shanna really doesn’t care at this point.
I went to the orthopedic orthopedic? maxillofacial? surgeon today to discuss getting an implant. This is going to be expensive. 🙁 I briefly read the propaganda they had on the subject but I left it at the office cause it pissed me off. No, this will not magically make my life better. I am, however, quite interested in the procedure because it can help prevent bone loss/decay issues later. So yeah. And once I get the procedure done it is like three months until the next step. So I guess it’s a good thing we decided to wait like six months before trying to get pregnant. oy.
And I went to a physical therapy thing today for my knee. Shanna was remarkably good. She sat on the chair and drew on a piece of paper and played with my sweater for an hour. Ok… probably 45 minutes and then she wanted to nurse. 🙂 I’m once again impressed with my wonderful baby.
Boy howdy is she getting willful. I thought the ‘nononono’ didn’t start till more like two. Oy. When she’s not in the mood for something she is really not in the mood. It’s interesting. Of course I override sometimes when it is a safety issue. I try really hard not to override just because “I’m the mom”. I find myself having to fight my temper more now and that’s difficult for both of us. Like when I’m cleaning up the Cheerios she flung all over the floor. It’s ok that she made the mess but when I’m cleaning it up, don’t come in the middle and throw stuff again! Dude! So rude! I find myself talking about manners, rudeness, politeness, and consideration constantly. I’m sure there are a good many parenting gurus who would describe my system as awful. I’m very very judgmental of her behavior. It seems to me that if I’m not she won’t learn how to evaluate behavior. I never ever tell her she is bad. I do tell her constantly that she is good and sweet and generous. I tell her, “It is rude to yell inside because it hurts peoples ears.” I know she doesn’t ‘get it’ yet but I figure starting young will help ingrain these lessons. She does seem to understand, “Please stop” and respects it more often than I would expect at this age.
Maybe that’s enough babbling for now. 🙂
so much to do and so little time
Today I made dinner. It took pretty much all day. I made pasta, pasta sauce, strawberry mash, and shortcake–all from scratch. That kind of preparation is a pain in the butt. All of the fresh ingredients came from the CSA box, the farmers market, or my back yard. 🙂 I’m tired. I don’t know how people used to cook from scratch every day. This is a pain in the butt.
Yesterday I finished my tattoo. I want to do a full post about that very soon with pictures.
Shanna continues to astound me with her development. I’m thrilled that I have a willing sleeper. When she realized she wasn’t going to get me to go lay down with her “nigh-nigh” “I can’t right now Shanna” she more or less asked to be put on my back and she took her nap there. I’m extremely sore but she’s in a great mood thanks to sleeping and I got my chores done. w00t.
Tomorrow we are going to Friday Night Waltz! I hope to see many people there. 🙂
I should ping because I keep thinking about her. I’m obviously awesome at initiating contact though. Oy.
I’m at day 42 of my cycle. The stupid sticks I’m peeing on still say I’m not pregnant though. This is making me fret for a variety of reasons.
I’ve been ordered PT for my knee and a hearing test to get more of a baseline on my disintegration a la (insert accent mark) Meniere’s. I really like my Kaiser doctor. She said despite my eyes, ears, and knee I am in excellent health. She didn’t even blink hard in the direction of my weight and she told me that I should have a bunch more kids because obviously I’m a great mother. 😀 She thinks I have a great attitude about the Menier’s and I think there is no point in having a poopy attitude. 😀
My house is a mess and I have dinner guests showing up sometime in the next half hour. I should probably get off livejournal. 🙂 I get to see my Sarah! I’m excited. It’s been so long. 🙂
Things I’m thinking about today/er yesterday
I uhhh babbled a lot. Continue reading
So that is how long it will take.
Looking up
So I was feeling all grumpy and cranky for a bit. Then we had sex. Then I was miraculously in a good mood. I think there is some sort of correlation there. 😛
Yesterday during Tango class I started having significant pain in my right buttock. Like a muscle spasm. It really sucked. Luckily I married the best boy ever and he worked on my thigh/butt/back and it stopped being agonizing pain. Now it is merely discomfort. It’s progress!
On the dance class front: mostly I’m having a great time. Last night I had a series of guys who had no frame so I started feeling a little frustrated with them. Luckily I kept managing to get the same specific guy over and over and he actually had frame so that was nice. 🙂 Noah is doing far better than he gives himself credit for. I think he has to overcome his mental block around “I’m a bad dancer” because when he’s not stressed out and freaking out he does alright. 🙂
I’m getting to socialize a lot lately and that is really awesome. It’s really wonderful that I am spending so much time with lots of friends. w00t!
In general things just feel so much better. I hate the hormones that come along with being a chick sometimes.
Six things
First: I am a good wife. I told Noah to go game because he hasn’t been able to much and he’s really stressed out and overburdened at work.
Second: I still haven’t heard about the comp exam. I took the test 25 days ago. I have been patient. Now I’m starting to freak out.
Third: I bought a nasal irrigation thingy. Hopefully this will allow me to resume my normal course of breathing.
Fourth: New diapers arrived! I am nerdy enough to find this very exciting.
Fifth: Family support today over the fact that both my sister and mother are over-the-top crazy. I appreciate the validation there.
Sixth: In other family news, looks like my sister is dealing again. But of course it would be my fault if she went to jail.
These boots were made for walking.
And by boots I mean shoes. I’ve been walking further and further lately. Last week I did ten miles with my nephew. I only walked a little over two miles with DSH and Terps. Today I walked eight miles with a chick from my neighborhood. I’ve been pretty lackadaisical about following points but I’m getting smaller. My pants are more comfortable (whoo hoo!). I’m not real worried about getting down a size but I would like this size to be baggy on me so that I don’t have to move into maternity clothes at five weeks like I did last time.
I’ve been paying attention to the difference between healthy foods and low calorie/low fat foods. I’m not feeling so hot about putting all the chemicals into my body. I am slowly working through the low calorie versions of stuff and I’m not buying more. I feel really good in my body most days. My back is still sore but I’m carrying a 20 pound kid all the time. I’ve been to yoga once recently and I’m going to try and go again soon.
My goal is to not have to do the super intense gestational diabetes test during my next pregnancy. I was heavy enough that my midwife wasn’t comfortable skipping it with Shanna. I would also like to have enough fitness/energy to be able to be active and play with Shanna through my next pregnancy. I was out of shape before I conceived Shanna so I was a total slug for nine months. I won’t have that luxury next time.
No I’m not pregnant. I have no idea when I will even be able to get pregnant. This is all stuff I need to take care of in advance though and I’m most likely running out of time.
Crunchification
Next Saturday we pick up our first CSA box. I’m pretty excited. I’m also trying to figure out how to get in on the Co-op for Organic Pastures which sells raw milk/cream/butter and beef. I’ve bought some of it from Whole Foods and the taste is so significantly better that I’m pretty shocked. I didn’t believe that I would notice or care. I’m not likely to go completely raw for all foods, but I’m impressed by the benefits of raw milk. Noah is at least mildly lactose intolerant so I think that the switch is certainly worthwhile for him. We’ve mostly moved to eating whole grain bread (but the potato bread is SO GOOD we get it sometimes anyway). Whole wheat pasta and brown rice are our standards at this point. We are getting organic/not from concentrate juices cause they taste better. The guy at Whole Foods talked me into trying the Omega 3 eggs. They are pretty good. At the very least we like the eggs from the farmers market. I don’t like the generic Safeway eggs anymore. This is all making me much more sensitive to the overpowering taste of most processed foods. They are pretty jarring. Sometimes that is fun, but sometimes it is just too much.
I find all of this kind of funny. How did I become this person?
This post makes my food icon a little more funny. Cause I tried it Sam-I-am and I liked it.
Adventures in teething
No one told me that “teething” meant that each individual tooth could take a week or maybe a month to come in. No one told me that during teething she would get a terrible diaper rash, have a runny nose, and not be able to sleep consistently for a week (so far). Ok, I sorta knew those things about teething, but my kid has been so darn easy up to this point that I didn’t think it would be so bad. This is our first bout of sleep deprivation and I get the impression that we still may have it easy. Last night out of desperation we swaddled her so that she would go to sleep. It worked pretty well until about 1am and then didn’t work anymore. She has always hated swaddling, from when she was tiny so I’m surprised it worked at all. We are also going 100% diaper free for a while in efforts to help with diaper rash. Trying EC full-time is kind of scary, but we did go all night without her wetting the bed! Yay! I’m just nervous because she hasn’t pooped yet and she’s due. Missing pee doesn’t bother me much; I really don’t want poop all over the floor. ick. So I’m pottying her every 15 minutes. heh. Aunt Sarah also gave us some teething tablets; I’m not sure if they are helping or not but she is a bit happier today. Given how many things we are trying at once it’s hard to tell what is doing what.
It doesn’t help that I now have a stuffy nose and sore throat. Bodies kind of suck.
The Kool Aid
Mid-way through writing this it occurred to me that I have multiple friends who are in OA and for whom this might be triggering. This is a lot of talk about food, weight, and body image. Feel free to skip this if you might have issues with those topics. 🙂 You don’t even have to be in OA to not want to read about my weight issues. 🙂
Continue reading
That bloody figures.
So we go to Urgent Care and the only doctor available is… the one I didn’t want to see. Farking great.
Shanna’s fine, of course. I got to answer a bunch of insulting questions about whether or not I’m letting Shanna play with bleach.
edited to add:
She didn’t literally ask if let her play with bleach. She was just really persistent in asking over and over about every single cleaning product in the house and whether or not they are locked up.
*grrr* stupid PAMF
I just called trying to get an appointment for Shanna. She yanks on her ears enough that I have a very small amount of concern about an ear infection. Not a huge concern, but enough that I’m willing to go have her checked out as a basic preventative thing. So I called for an appointment. I was first told that I can’t have a well child check up if I think there is maybe anything wrong with her, I have to have a sick baby visit. When I told her I didn’t really think the baby was sick she got snippy and said, “Well what is it you want?” I said I wanted an appointment with a doctor. Then she told me to call Dr. x (my primary doctor)’s office and talk to them about what kind of visit to schedule. I told her I would like to see a different doctor and she asked me why. I told her I didn’t like the way Dr. x interacted with my daughter on the first visit and I would like to see a pediatrician. She told me to go online and browse profiles of doctors and call back and see if I can get an appointment with the one I select. Uhm, I’m going to be changing insurance plans soon so I don’t feel a need to spend a bunch of time searching for the “right” doctor, can I have an appointment with anyone who has an opening in the next day or so? She told me that I should just go to urgent care then. Goodbye and have a nice day.
WTF! Bitch!
On my body, food, and happy mediums
Having a baby fucks with your body. No duh, I know. But it has fucked with my body in ways I didn’t anticipate. At the start of pregnancy I weighed 181. I had been steady at that exact number for a while. By the fourth month, after all the sickness, I was down to 169. At the end of my pregnancy I was 202. I was back to 181 by ten days after giving birth. In the past eight weeks weight started creeping on and I have waffled between 187 and 191. But I look different. My face and neck and upper chest and arms are the thinnest they have ever been in my life. I would say noticeably thinner than when I weighed 155. So all of the added padding is between my boobs and my knees. My efforts on google tell me that my breasts probably weigh about five pounds more than they did when I was at my lightest. This results in me having a noticeably padded middle and butt. Fair enough. I would mind more if Noah whistled less often. I’m sorta half-assedly thinking about size but mostly thinking about strength. I would like to get back into my size 12 clothes because I have more in that size and they are cute. Seeing as I care more about being smaller than about being lighter exercise is more important than diet, though diet helps. I’m walking at least five miles a week and feeling terrible that I’m not doing more. I’m doing the 100 push up challenge (damnit, I have to do week two again cause I’m such a wuss). I’m starting to do more planks and I’ve been doing alright with crunches. I should get in some heavier exercising, but it’s hard to do with munchkin. I want to start yoga but I’m too big of a pussy to leave munchkin for that much time at a go. I need to do more and I just haven’t yet.
Then there is that sex stuff. When we have sex I feel sore at the beginning as if I’ve been having tons of sex recently and uhhh we haven’t been having tons of sex. I would like that feeling to go away already. Orgasm is still inconsistent and not as amazing as pre-kid. I’m working on it. It’s hard to work on it when I don’t have a lot of time to spend on it though.
Then there is sleep. I am so tired. And before anyone thinks to say, “Well duh you are sleep deprived” no–you don’t understand. I’m not sleep deprived. I’m sleeping 8-10 hours a night and still napping during the day. I don’t understand how anyone can work with a nursing baby. I’m muddled and confused a lot of the time. And I don’t do all of the nighttime parenting–Noah changes as many or more diapers than I do. (Have I mentioned how much Noah rocks?) The munchkin sleeps for 5-7 hour blocks most nights. She starts waking up every 3 hours after the first big chunk cause she eats a little then falls back asleep. I really can’t complain about her sleeping though.
So, I don’t want to go on a diet. Let me explain why. Not that anyone really cares, but I like to babble. There is the altruistic reason: if you take dieting too seriously it compromises milk supply. I’m not going to do that. But let’s get serious. The reason I am not going to diet is because I am so fucking hungry if a slow moving cow went passed me I might clean the bones before it could get by. I wasn’t told that my own leg would start to look tasty. I’m hiding how much I eat most days because I feel sort of ashamed of how much I am eating. I went to eat with a friend last weekend and I didn’t finish off all the food on the table even though I wanted to because I felt gross. 🙁 I don’t actually think she would have any sort of negative thoughts based on that (and hell, she’s going to read this) but I’m really not rational in the moment. As a result of my constant ravenous hunger I am trying to increase the percentage of my diet devoted to vegetables. This is a struggle, but I’m doing ok. We are cooking a lot. I’m actually really proud of how much we are cooking. We have managed to cook at least five nights a week for the past month and some. Some of the nights we don’t it’s cause we have too many leftovers. 🙂 I’m eating out of the house about three meals a week. That’s really awesome when I compare it to pregnancy where I was eating out of the house 15+ times a week. So I’m all proud. 🙂 I’m cooking a greater variety of things than I ever have before (another yay for Noah and his cheerful encouragement of my efforts!) and Noah has been cooking things I’ve never had. I’m being GGG.
Let me tell you though. Cooking, shopping, meal planning, and clean up is fucking daunting. No wonder I never managed when I was working. I can’t believe anyone has the time to really do it while working full time. I realize that my epiphany is really lame, but I can’t believe that women are expected to keep up with this while working. And many relationships do have that expectation. I’ve always been spoiled (uhm rich enough) to not have to deal with it as an adult. And my kid isn’t additional work yet. My respect for working mothers is growing by the day.
I’ve made messloads of progress on the garage. It’s just about clean enough so that I can park in it. I have it in the back of my mind how much it will suck to load the munchkin into the car in the rain. So I’m working towards being able to use the garage. 🙂
So the happy mediums I am struggling to find: eating enough and trying to figure out how to have my diet be healthier than not, sufficient exercise to increase my strength faster than she gets heavy (oof lifting a toddler would be rough right now), enough sex to keep Noah and I both on a more even keel emotionally, keeping the house clean enough to not feel guilty while not stressing about perfection, and spending enough time reading. 🙂
Feeling all healthy and shit
In the past few weeks the following fruits and vegetables have been eaten (by me) in my household:
potatoes
tomatoes
lettuce (of three or four varieties)
carrots
leeks
celery
cucumber
brussel sprouts
eggplant
corn
broccoli
green beans
avacado
spinach
strawberries
grapes
blackberries
blueberries
raspberries
pluots
watermelon
plums
and Noah says parsley counts.
Holy shit. I think that is more variety of fruits and veggies than I normally eat in a year. No really–I’m not a vegetable person. w00t!
State of the Lizard
What, you thought these posts would end with delivery? Psh.
She’s awesome. Of course. 🙂 She has gained ten ounces in the past seven days which means that apparently my milk supply is quite sufficient. 🙂 She is at 8 lbs 6 oz. She has already changed appearance fairly dramatically in my opinion. She’s plumping out all over the place. Her hands/fingers no longer remind me of Gollum. She is getting a double chin. Sleep is still going fairly well. She’s getting in at least one 3-4 hour sleep cycle a night and she gets a second every other night so I’m feeling alright. Because I do actually listen to people every so often I stopped trying to orient her towards my preference for day/night…. for now. We will come back to that after it is no longer biologically necessary for her to eat so often. 🙂
She does fuss a bit, but it is pretty clear that it is mostly because she’s a pre-verbal infant. Overall she seems to be pretty cheerful. She is starting to interact more and it’s really interesting. If you talk to her about stuff she reacts, sometimes by grinning sometimes with funny faces. I really wonder how much she understands. We have continued good luck with asking her to respond to specific things in specific ways.
At 16 days I must say that I’m still convinced this was absolutely the right thing for me to do. We’ll see how long that lasts. 🙂
And on for my body healing tmi…
girly bits
So I ordered some cloth pads from www.lunapads.com and I am finding them to be way freakin more comfortable than regular disposable pads. I would highly recommend that anyone else who gets irritated by plastic rubbing you raw give them a try. They aren’t cheap though. I have a $5 discount code for a purchase made before 8/31. If you want to try them leave me a comment and I’ll give you the code. 🙂
Really–they are way more comfortable. And I don’t think the mess is any greater than with disposables.
Body changes
Lots of tmi and explicit body stuff behind the cut tag. I am recording this mostly because I am curious how it will be different with next kid and I know I won’t remember. (Friends-locked because uhm… this is graphic.)