Well, adventures are adventurous. Our flight left late from Honolulu and there was a major head wind so we missed our connection. The airline acted way more upset than us. They put us up in hotel rooms, with a free shuttle and dinner. Not terrible.

But we lost track of the diaper bag and that is hard on a few levels. Now we don’t have enough diapers for today and we lost a packet of wipes but I don’t care about that part. Two of our favorite baby books (First Sushi and Hello, Jalapeño along with Her Sweetness’ cuddle toy were in there. All of our bibs (we barely remember to use them) 1/4 of the jammies we have, a cute summer outfit, extra trash bags, butt ointment, my little first aid kit, a lightweight sweater, and pens. We still have 50+ pens so whatever.

Mostly it cuts like a knife because it was from Sarah. I am going to slowly lose the things from her (because that’s life) and it feels like extra stabbing wounds. A lot of how she showed me she loved me was by giving me stuff when she no longer needed it. My mom was a gifts = love person so Sarah’s tendency’s felt so much like trying to help me even though she didn’t have more time to give me.

So I will sit here in the dark and have a good cry and then I need to get the fuck over it. Nothing essential to life was lost. It’s an inconvenience not a tragedy. I don’t know if I will ever stop missing her like a bleeding open wound. I hope distance and time help.

Konichiwa and Arrigato are my two big words here. Doesn’t matter much how I sound them out and spell them in English. Ha. I think I am saying them close enough. And Hai. (It doesn’t sound like hi.)

Every time I leave the country I start speaking Spanish and that feels like a subconscious hint. Whyyyyy am I going to Asia and not South America? Tech conferences.

I barely slept. I should have tried the baby cot. The beds are narrow enough that my subconscious was worried about Her Sweetness flopping off so I kept an arm over her, much to her irritation. She nursed or fussed almost all of the hours I was in the bed. When I got up she finally went to sleep. Figures.

But I showered and my hair is braided and I am dressed. Yay flannel lined jeans.

In the long run I am not going to blame Sarah for the breakup. My inappropriate expectations were poison. Did she play a part? Sure. But if I had accepted her, flakiness and all I could have just appreciated a few minutes a year. Oh well. She wanted to be more than that without really having it to give. Life is full of disappointment.

It is ok to feel sad. But I need to get up and keep moving. Just keep swimming.

We want to be on the shuttle in one hour and 40 minutes. How early do I want to wake folks up?

I did buy 4 diapers at the store downstairs. Let me look up 9 kg in pounds… 19.8 lbs! Ok these diapers are fine. They are pull-ups labeled size 4; in the US we buy size 3 so I ignorantly thought these might be too big. I am excited to be wrong. Yay hotel store! I guess it works out that my kids are huge. Ha.

I opened the curtains. Oh wow the trees. We are on the edge of one of the biggest cities in the world and it feels super rural. That’s amazing. I will let the sun wake up my kids. Now I get to nurse more.

Instead of being upset about the inconvenience of losing the diaper bag I need to be grateful I had a spare diaper in another pack to handle the major poopy diaper last night before I went to the store. I am prepared for many events. That’s good.

Other great point: we showed up with enough yen to manage our needs for a couple of days. That’s brilliant. Well done, Noah, on bringing this much home last time.

Watching the sun rise here is breath taking.

I think we will all sleep hard tonight and pretty much wake up adjusted to the time zone. I am continually surprised by how adaptable my children are.

One of my friends sent me an info graphic on rejection sensitivity. It was kind of her. But way to call me out! Ha. Yeah… maybe that applies…