Of all the parenting decisions that I make I hadn’t thought that not-spanking would be one that became an issue. Really? You think there is no way for me to control my kid without hitting her? Ok, let me back up and explain.

Someone I’ve been friends with for 13 years was over. People who have been in my life this long are given tons and tons of slack for uhm, lets call it quirky behavior. She likes to talk about her cousin who has twin boys about a year older than Shanna. She mentioned that her cousin thinks the kids are now old enough to spank. *blink* I told her that there is zero evidence that spanking is an effective behavior modification tool and lots of evidence that it is not helpful. I stayed pretty calm during that early bit. She kept up arguing that spanking is necessary to control children. ?! What? I started getting upset so I told her that I didn’t want to have this conversation with her because I think what her cousin is doing is wrong. She went on to tell me that she was spanked and she turned out fine. I started losing my temper at this point. I said, “Yeah and I’ve been raped half a dozen times and I turned out fine so obviously we should do that to all the girls.” She said, “You aren’t fine. You have serious psychological issues.” I went from seeing red to seeing white. I wanted to hit her. I had to hold my fists very firmly at my sides. If hitting children is the correct method of behavior modification–maybe I should hit her to modify her behavior? I told her that she isn’t fine. That she is seriously fucked up. At this point she looked like she went over the line into being really really angry.

Then my nephew and his friend arrived. Right then. Perfect timing. I went out to help them get started and I told her that I had to work and be done socializing. She wanted to set up more hanging out soon and I said that we’ll see.

I’m having a lot of trouble with this right now. I want to go down the very long list of ways in which she is not a functional adult and rub her nose in it. I want to do a line by line comparison of how I may have issues but I god damn take care of them whereas she expects her parents to take care of hers. But that’s not helpful.

If she were lecturing me on vaccines or diapers or orororor I wouldn’t have gotten this angry. But seriously–fucking spanking? You think I have to spank to have control? If you have to hit someone to have control over them then you have already lost control. And there probably isn’t any way to get it back.

I think I’m not going to talk to her for a bit. Then I will try to write an email explaining that if we are to remain friends personal attacks aren’t ok. I don’t do them towards her (fantasies in my head aside) and it’s not ok for her to do them towards me. That’s the adult thing to do. But man I don’t want to be an adult. I want to tell her that she is a stupid immature bitch and I no longer want to have anything to do with her. But that’s probably a fleeting feeling. I mean, she is an immature bitch and all, but she has redeeming qualities. I’m sure I will remember what those are in a few days.