Shanna was crying outside when we were walking to the doctor’s office and I was carrying her. I told her that she could keep crying if she needed to but I suspect the other people in the office won’t like her crying much. So when we walked in she looked around the room and announced, “You all might not like it if I cry but I like it so I’m going to cry now.”
Pretty much everyone there busted up laughing.
While tossing and turning in her sleep: “Go away cause I’m a grouch!”
While jumping on the bed: “She was going to be an actress. She was going to be a star. She was going to shake her ass on the hood of White Snake’s car.”
Both made me giggle in very different ways.
During one grading session we kept track of the best lines. I want to throw away the physical paper they were written on, so here they are preserved for posterity:
“It barley pierced me armor.”
“A tree is shedding it’s leaves above me like golden raindrops.”
“The warm sunrays relax me and they make me want to lay there and look at the beautiful colored sky as if I’m not going to see the sky for a long time.”
“Why he had to kill her is anybodies guess.”
“My wings are white and feathery and feel nothing like a bird’s wings.”
“All the excitement and the loss of blood would make any teenage girl nauseous.”
“My uncle is a chairman of one of the California Water Foul Association fund raisers and he knows all about the outdoors and hunting and fishing so…”
“The blackest black, like standing outside in the middle of the night and looking out in the open when there are absolutely no lights around.”
“You know the best thing to do when you want the time to just slow things down, is to watch the humans walk by.”
“Their dead bodies were conjoined by their hands.”
“Upon entering, I was greeted by dirty slums bugging for money. After fending them off and breaking the jaw of a more rowdy slum, I…”
“It’s like I just sat on a syringe loaded with some kind of venom. Well it’s not just any venom it’s a boring venom.”
“I eat the look on your face with great joy.”
“‘You know…,’ the man said as Mrs. Jones began to hide in the guest room downstairs. ‘You can run as much as you want–but you’ll run away from me.'”
“When she opened the door a young man with short brown hair, and blue/green/gray/brown eyes stood in front of her.”
A coworker and I were complaining about how our kids have never heard about Oedipus. I said that of course they haven’t, they are too busy thinking about videogames.
“Oh! They should totally make an Oedipus game for the Xbox!! That would be so cool!”
I left the room. That was just plain wrong.