Tag Archives: shanna

State of the Munchkin (cause she’s not a Lizard anymore)

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I’m not sure where the transition happened, but it did. She’s a person. She’s a rather happy person all things considered. 🙂 Her fussing has changed in both quantity and quality. At this point she fusses like the cat does: mostly to communicate a direct need and once in a while just to hear herself. She is starting to want more physical autonomy in the form of mildly assisted sitting up. When I give her self-sufficient support (i.e. not me holding her) she is happy to play and interact with me for 30-60 minutes. I think that is so cool. She is smiling and laughing and cooing during these sessions more than she isn’t. It is surprisingly fun for me to play with her for an extended time.

There is nothing resembling a schedule in our lives. No solid patterns of what is ok and what isn’t. Yesterday she refused to nap in the swing despite doing it consistently all of last week. She stayed in bed after we got up this morning, which she hasn’t been willing to do before. She didn’t start fussing until after she had a really poopy diaper (and hey–I would fuss then too) which means she had been up for a bit because she doesn’t poop in her sleep or too close to waking up. So she was awake and alert and by herself for at least a few minutes. Very cool!

Last night she found her thumb for the first time. She’s always liked sucking on her fist, but she finally pulled the thumb off separately. If she does that to self soothe I’m going to be ok with it. I find it especially funny after a dad this weekend tried to walk me through forcing a baby to take a pacifier. Uhm… yeah, I’m not forcing my daughter to take a pacifier. He assured me that it would be better because she would spend less time on the boob. Right. Yeah. Uhm… no. He didn’t believe me when I said I was ok with her being on the boob when I had her in the wrap. Oh well.

Fussing in the car is still our most consistent fussing and even that isn’t certain. I’ve now had a couple of trips during morning nap time where she slept through the whole process because she was deeply asleep to start with. I think I should start trying to leave the house with her around 11-1 when possible. 🙂 She was even awake and cheerful for the whole trip from San Francisco to Redwood City this weekend! Ok… she started fussing in the last five minutes, but she had a very dirty diaper so I don’t blame her. Mostly she still screams bloody murder in the car. I hear from Mo that this is very traumatic. For some unknown reason I can turn the radio up and ignore it really well. No one else seems to be able to and I feel bad for them.

I’m really enjoying parenting. It’s limited in scope at this point, but this is fun. Before I had her my belief was that I wasn’t going to enjoy the baby stage much at all. I’m glad I was wrong.

Patterns

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My daughter is going to be one to fight sleep. If there is anything even vaguely interesting going on she just doesn’t sleep and then she gets crankier and crankier. She hates the car.

But when I just stop. When I take away all stimulus she sleeps and sleeps and sleeps. She was awake as long as Noah was home today and bustling, then she passed out when everything got still. She woke up when I changed her diaper an hour ago and then went right back to sleep.

Well, I suppose she is communicating her needs in life pretty clearly. Too bad they sorta suck for me.

Mooo

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I’ve been up since 4. Why you might ask (if you care that is) well, that would be because Shanna has a bitch of a time latching in the middle of the night. This is because apparently I over produce at night and things get so full she can’t get a hold of it in her mellow relaxed state. So I have to get up and pump. This is fucking annoying.

Geez Brit

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Brittney asked me if I was posting privately because she wasn’t seeing as many posts (she’s one of those lurkers). Naw, instead I’m playing with the baby.

Here she is not enjoying her Gir-ificness.

But best of all, is when she smiles.

Such a lovely daughter I have.

Living la vida loca

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I caught my first poop!

I can usually figure out about when she is going to poop. I have a lot more trouble predicting pee though. Thus: well… this carpet is a little less new now. heh.

I need to figure out a better holding position. I need to spend more time figuring out how to clean up afterwards. I need to devise a system for catching oopsies as I’m about to put the diaper back on.

I can handle this. 🙂

similarities and a brain dump

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She has Noah’s hairline. I didn’t notice, my mom pointed it out. It looks like her nose is becoming more like mine (or at least how mine was when I was a tiny baby). She likes to be as cold as Noah. I’m sitting in the air conditioned living room fully dressed under a blanket and they are both naked–and happy about it. Odd.

I’ve been really moody this week for no good reason. I’m trying to not lash out at Noah though because he’s really awesome and hasn’t done anything–uhhh anything bad. He’s done lots of good stuff. As a result of me petulantly telling him earlier this week that I felt like he wasn’t paying enough attention to me he devoted a full freakin day to reading me The Golden Compass. The whole book. That wasn’t a stated goal of the day, he just never stopped reading. 🙂 It’s a really good book.

I’ve been fussing at Noah about my various guilt complexes and he is patiently helping me with them. I’m so lucky to have him. I feel like if I am going to stay home I need to become Super Woman and do everything around the house as far as cleaning goes and cook interesting food every day and take perfect care of the kidlets and work on other projects and be a stimulating and interesting partner for him. But I can’t physically do all of those things in a 24 hour day. It’s not reasonable. But I feel crushing guilt because I should be able to!! I’m a failure if I don’t!! He says that’s silly though. So we are talking about maybe the best approach is to figure out how many hours a week I should spend on different things and still be reasonable about it. So I’m trying to figure out what is a reasonable schedule for me. See, this is challenging due to the word “reasonable.” I’m not sure I’ve ever had a reasonable schedule before. I tend to have an outrageously packed schedule and by golly I Get It Done. I’m kind of deranged really. I get it done if it makes me miserable and I’m crying and sick and underslept and treating everyone around me like shit. But I get it done.

Yeah… this isn’t optimal in terms of long-term sustainability and given that I can no longer treat my life as a series of sprints towards individual goals I need a different approach. So what is sustainable for me? In all honesty I can sustain a much higher level of productivity than average, but I get cranky. What level of activity will keep me in a good mood? That’s a harder question. I think this is going to take some trial and error. I also need to get over the idea that I should now be taking care of everything in the house for Noah. For one thing it isn’t reasonable. For another thing… he wouldn’t actually like it. He likes doing stuff for me and even though he does enjoy his down time he likes being able to help me as well. Balance.

Then there is this little complication of the munchkin. See… she wants to be on me all the time which I really love. Unfortunately sitting around with her on my lap makes it hard for me to do stuff. She does not like feeding on the move and screams her head off if I try to feed her in the wrap. She’s fine with sleeping in it, but not eating. The problem is transitioning to the wrap once she’s asleep. If I have the wrap tied on it’s not too hard but feeding her while wearing it is kind of inconvenient. I may have to just suck that up. This may be easier when feeding happens less often.

And I’ve totally lost my train of thought cause my mom called. Uhm… The End?

Not much time, but this was cute.

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Shanna joined me in the bathtub again today. Usually when she does it is because she is screaming her head off and the boob is in the tub so she comes to the boob. This was a conscious effort to get her clean though. (Lingering spit-up sourness is … not awesome.) After doing the general wipe up I held her head and swooshed her around in the water. She was very alert and interested and didn’t squawk a bit. She seemed to think that was very neat. Yay! I’m so hoping I get a water baby because I love the water. 🙂

Now I need to get off my butt and get ready for the dentist. ew.

More squee

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We just got a care package from Dad. He picked out a bunch of massively cute clothes for Shanna all in six months. Yay! At the rate she is gaining weight she will be wearing them by three months. I think we just tripled the amount of pink in the house. He sent a onesie that says, “Grandpa’s Little Princess” it makes me kind of weepy. My bio-father may be out of the picture but I’ve done well adopting dads. Such a good life.

Very silly squee

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I was thinking about my paternal grandmother this morning and how I think I am looking more and more like her as I age. So I went and hunted up the only two pictures of her I have. I feel I confirmed my feeling that I look remarkably like her. These pictures were in an album with pictures of me from babyhood. Dude. I was much smaller than Shanna. Shanna at one month looks about how I looked at three months. This amuses me. In looking at these pictures I thought, “ohmygosh I had the cutest little dresses!!” Then I pondered…. “Hmmmm I know I have a box of “baby memories” that my mom put together…” I have the cutest little dresses! They are the size Shanna is wearing right now!!! I asked Noah for his opinion on whether or not I should wash the dresses and have Shanna wear them and he demonstrated that he understands the boy/girl interaction of: if you don’t have an opinion, MAKE ONE UP (preferably one that supports the desires of the girl you are talking to). Noah rocks.

I am now going to go wash the cutest little dresses ever and Shanna is going to wear them frequently in the next few weeks. Cause I bet she is only going to be able to wear them for a couple weeks. Kid’s growing really really fast. If she is still wearing 0-3 month clothes at three months I will be surprised. All of the smaller 0-3 month onesies are already getting pretty snug… in all directions. Ahhh that’s my little porker. 😀

CUTEST DRESSES EVER!!

pictures to come…

Rob sez:

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“How well are you capitalizing on this year’s unique opportunities, Virgo? Now that we’re halfway through 2008, let’s take an inventory. I’m hoping that six months from now, you’ll look back and make the following declaration: “I’ve learned more about love in the past 12 months than maybe I ever have. I’ve also become far more skilled in the art of making myself happy. And I’ve finally figured out how to purge some of the martyr-like aspects from my generosity, which means I’m better able to give without strings attached and I’m more attractive to interesting people who are inclined to give me things I really want.'”

You mean unique opportunities like having my first child? (Can’t ever do that again.) Having Noah home for six weeks to help me adjust to having the munchkin? (We’ll never get this time back. We need to enjoy it now.) Figuring out how to parent? (Ok, so other people have done it… but it’s still different from the rest of *my* life.) I’ve certainly learned more about love. I feel overwhelmed by the depth of my feelings for Shanna. I am dealing with a lot of exhaustion and fuss and noise that would normally drive me bonkers. Instead I just feel kind of giddy. Yay the baby. And Noah… he continues to surprise and amaze me. I win.

Interesting people who can give me things I really want? You mean like 7 1/2 hours of consecutive sleep? Oooooh baby I hope she can give me that soon. 😉 In the meantime I will not feel upset about the lack of sleep and I will enjoy all the extra hours of the day when I get to gaze at her gorgeous face. 🙂

Oh yeah… bring on the schmoop.

Milestones: First bottle

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Last night I decided it was time to try out the pump I was given. (Yay Lauren!) That was a weird fucking feeling. I really want to start introducing myself as Bessie. I didn’t get all that much milk out… a detour and twenty minutes of reading up on the web… ok apparently I got a fair bit of milk out. Go me? She had an amusing reaction to the bottle. “NOT MOMMY! NOT MOMMY! Hey…food…cool.” I don’t think we are going to have much of a problem feeding this kid. Of course, mommy boob is still the best pacifier ever.

Her favorite sleeping position is on the Boppy. Let’s think about this for a minute, shall we? In order for her to stay balanced I have to be wearing the Boppy. This means I am effectively trapped during her naps. oy. She will sometimes sleep in the Moby but only if you are moving pretty much the whole time and not bending over.

I need to post new pictures. She already looks different…

State of the Lizard

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What, you thought these posts would end with delivery? Psh.

She’s awesome. Of course. 🙂 She has gained ten ounces in the past seven days which means that apparently my milk supply is quite sufficient. 🙂 She is at 8 lbs 6 oz. She has already changed appearance fairly dramatically in my opinion. She’s plumping out all over the place. Her hands/fingers no longer remind me of Gollum. She is getting a double chin. Sleep is still going fairly well. She’s getting in at least one 3-4 hour sleep cycle a night and she gets a second every other night so I’m feeling alright. Because I do actually listen to people every so often I stopped trying to orient her towards my preference for day/night…. for now. We will come back to that after it is no longer biologically necessary for her to eat so often. 🙂

She does fuss a bit, but it is pretty clear that it is mostly because she’s a pre-verbal infant. Overall she seems to be pretty cheerful. She is starting to interact more and it’s really interesting. If you talk to her about stuff she reacts, sometimes by grinning sometimes with funny faces. I really wonder how much she understands. We have continued good luck with asking her to respond to specific things in specific ways.

At 16 days I must say that I’m still convinced this was absolutely the right thing for me to do. We’ll see how long that lasts. 🙂

And on for my body healing tmi…

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I don’t get it.

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Why will she transfer from my tummy to the bed for a nap during the day but absolutely refuses at night when I want to sleep?

Although I must say, Shanna has earned some gratitude today. I explained to her this morning when she was being fairly fussy that I was having trouble staying patient because we had a very sleepless night and I needed her to settle down for a couple of hours and take a nap with me. She looked at me and fussed for another few seconds. Then she turned to the boob, latched without being fussy and fell asleep a few minutes later. She slept soundly for a few hours and I got in a much needed nap.

I’ve been surprised several times by how well she responds to verbal negotiation. I’m pretty sure I can’t count on it at this point, but… it’s been working. I don’t do it constantly and in general I let her do her thing without trying to change whatever it is she is doing. But a few times I’ve told her what I needed from her and she just did it. Very cool. 🙂

The cute!!

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This morning I have been playing music for Shanna and singing along. Mostly she is just very intently looking at me. Then I got to Cher, the “Believe” album, which is very techno. She started swinging her arms like mad and squeaking with glee. It was ridiculously cute. 🙂

At some point I will get back to blogging about things other than the cuteness of my daughter. But for right now I am sitting on my bed playing with, holding, and feeding my daughter all day. Yeah… I just don’t have anything else going on. We’ll see how things go once I heal from birth.